Page 68 of Love in the Time of Wildfires

“Someone from work?”

“Her friend backed out because her kid was sick. River decided to go anyway.”

Logan rubbed his face, knowing this action was exactly like her. She wasn’t one to let anything hold her back.

Mimi continued, “She told me she’d text me when she got back because I was nervous. You know how independent she can be.”

“Yeah.” It was one of the things Logan loved about her. Except, currently, he felt sick at the thought of something terrible happening. He’d already accepted that something bad could happen to him, but it hadn’t occurred to him that he could lose her like this. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go.

“I never got a text, and then her work said she didn’t show up. One of her coworkers stopped by the apartment but found nothing. We don’t think she came back. I flew up, along with some of the family, and we’ve been searching. Today, we focused on Cody Lake, but I don’t think she came here. She told me she was going to a place she hiked with you.”

Logan racked his brain for all the different hiking possibilities. In the Sierras there was no shortage. “Did she mention anything else?”

“Only that she wanted to do something for the afternoon. So it didn’t sound like she wanted to do a long hike.”

Desperate and helpless, Logan was about to go out of his mind because he didn’t know what the right answer was. His brain was sluggish and uncooperative. “Um . . .” He tried to focus, the stress of it about to give him a panic attack. “I don’t think it’s Lake Aloha. That’s a pretty long hike. We did do one off an old logging road in Desolation Wilderness. I’ll send you a map with a pin.”

“Yes, okay.” There was a small amount of relief coming through her voice. “Thank you so much, Logan. If you give me your number, I’ll keep you updated, okay?”

“Okay.” Logan passed along his number, taking hers as well.

“What do you want to do?” Ricky asked as soon as he got off the phone and sent Mimi a location pinned on a map.

“What do you mean?” Logan wanted to rip the whole forest apart in search of River, but he doubted this was an option. He just wanted to do something—anything.

He needed her to be found.

This thing between them wasn’t over. It couldn’t be. Not like this.

“I mean, do you feel like you need to pull yourself off the job?”

Logan had faith in his crew, as Damon was qualified to take over leadership if something happened to him. But their squad of twenty was already down one person when Hanson pulled a back muscle and was in too much pain to continue. Logan had always done the job until it was finished. No matter what was going on in his life, he’d push himself through to not let his crew down.

Except Logan was already failing—he wasn’t going to push past this. The insides of his stomach tightened and wrapped themselves into knots with worry. All he could think about was River and how she was out there, without him, possibly hurt. She became more important than the job. Until she was found safe and he could pull her into his arms, he wasn’t going to get any sleep. He could put himself out on the front lines tomorrow, but there was no way he was going to be a hundred percent in the game.

Logan rubbed his hands together in agitation before crossing his arms to hide them, leading to his knee bouncing nervously. “Yeah, um . . .”

“You need to do what you need to do. If this is someone that means a lot to you—”

“Yeah, she means a lot to me.” That was an understatement. She meant everything to him. He loved her. He tried so hard to tell her before he left, but the words never made it pass his lips. Logan didn’t want a life without her light, without her messages, without her way of looking at the world. He’d never be lucky enough to find someone like her again. She’d become his home. But he wasn’t sure he could say all this to Ricky, swallowing hard, hoping his boss would figure it out on his own.

Fortunately, the man understood him even with a few words. “If something happened to Cindy or one of my girls, you don’t think I’d tear out of here like a bat out of hell?”

“I just need to look. I need to find her.” His limbs grew shaky. Why was he still sitting here? Could he take the buggy? He didn’t have his truck.

“Okay, well, I see you’re not going to be any good to me. But you’re not allowed to leave until tomorrow. I’ll work on figuring out how to get you home. You don’t need to worry about that. Okay? Do you want to talk to Damon or do you want me to?”

“I’ll, uh, talk to him.” It was the least he could do when he was abandoning them.

Logan rose, making his way out of the command tent on autopilot. The rest of the squad were eating at a nearby table and conversing loudly. Damon, at one end, made eye contact with Logan. He made a small hand motion, asking him to come over.

“What’s up?” Damon asked as he approached. His face then shifted to concern. “Are you okay? You’re looking really pale.”

Logan set his hand on his friend’s shoulder to steady himself. “River’s missing.”

“What?”

“She went hiking and now no one can . . .” The words became difficult to form, the magnitude of an emotional tidal wave to swim through. He cleared his throat. “They can’t find her. I’m going to need you to take over. I need to get back.”