Page 2 of Midnight Ink

“Oh, shit.” I lean forward, adjusting in the seat, and take another bite. For the first few years I used to sit on the grass, but tattooing and age made me require the chair. “Jamie’s engaged. I don’t think I’ve told you that yet.”

At least that’s some good news.

“I honestly couldn’t believe it when he told me. You should meet his fiancé. He’s . . . something. Think Anna, but like, almost worse. Which means you both would have been besties.” That brings a smile to my lips. Noah’s funny and outrageous and maybe that’s exactly what our friend needs. “I’m planning a back piece for him. It’s tricky with the scars, but I’m confident we can design something sick.” It’s going to be hard, but I think he can handle the pain.

Jamie was one of Maddox’s best friends. He was in that car the night we lost the people most important to us. He lost his sister and his girlfriend along with Maddox. A mutual friend updated me on his progress, and he was in bad shape for a while. Both of us struggled for years, and then he met Noah. I couldn’t be happier for him.

And maybe I’m a little jealous.

“We’re planning a phoenix. He’s got scars everywhere on his back and chest, but I think we can pull it off. He’s going to paint a mural by your station in exchange. He’s not worried about the pain, but you know Jamie. He’ll push himself until he drops, and I don’t want that.” His first session is next month, and I hope we can at least get the outline done and give him time to heal.

Noah texted me privately and told me to be careful with him or he’d remove my balls through my belly button, which I thought was adorable. It’s a huge piece, and on top of painting for me I’m a little worried too. He suffers with chronic pain as a result of the accident, and while he’s told me that lately it’s gotten a lot better, I still want to be careful.

One month I’ll tattoo. The next he’ll paint. He told me he could knock it out in a week but I just don’t want him overextending himself. I’m in no rush. We can work vice versa until we’re both finished.

I open my mouth then close it. I almost mention Julian, but there’s always something that stops me. I’m not sure why. It’s been years since Julian came to work for me and I’ve still never mentioned him by name. “Oh, Anna says hi, and she’s still pissed at you for dying.” Same.

Logically, we know it’s not his fault. It wasn’t anyone in that jeep’s fault. Still. I’m so fucking angry. There was no justice. No punishment or anything. The man responsible for this devastation also died that night.

Seven years ago, I was at a party with some friends. Jamie, his girlfriend at the time, Maddox, and Jamie’s sister Luci left in Maddox’s jeep.

Earlier that day we’d gotten into a fight over the shop. I wanted this shop with him, I really did, but I just wanted to tattoo. I never wanted the business side of it. It scared me. I’m not good at math or marketing; I’m an artist. It’s the only skill I have. I’m not outgoing either. Fuck social media. I don’t talk much in general unless there’s a tattoo gun in my hand. All the logistical crap makes my head hurt.

Maddox promised me that he would take care of all that. He was brilliant, and I know he thought my fears were silly. In his mind he was going to take care of us. He never wanted any other artist in the shop, just the two of us and the occasional apprentice, and Anna of course. They grew up together and she’s been with us from the start.

He promised me that day that I wouldn’t have to worry about a thing.

Then, twenty-four hours later my entire world was destroyed.

I still don’t remember anything that happened in the days after.

It was like my mind tried blocking out the intense breath-stealing pain. Not only did Maddox die, but so did Jamie’s girlfriend and his sister. Jamie was in a coma for days. Thankfully he survived the crash, but it broke his mind for years.

Then he met Noah.

Before I can stop it, I feel heat prick at my eyes. “We were supposed to do this together, Madd. You and me.” So many scenarios go through my mind, all of them pointless. I was in no state to drive that night. The only reason I’d been drinking was because I was still angry with him for not listening to me. He blew off my concerns like he always did, because in Maddox’s mind he had this. There wasn’t anything that could stop him. If he had an idea or a dream, he was going to see it through.

During my darkest moments I wish I’d been in that jeep with them.

Maybe if I wasn’t acting like a brat that night, I could have driven. Maybe if I’d kept him with me, or if we’d talked a little longer. Maybe if I’d told Jamie to just keep Luci with us until she sobered up some.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

It does shit for me.

“I miss you.” Looking up at the clouds, I let the soft breezes calm me. Maddox was an atheist and I know he’d roll his fucking eyes at me right now.

I like to believe he’s still around, but knowing Maddox, he would have given that up within the first year after following my depressed ass around. The talking is more for me. It’s something I can do to pretend. “This isn’t how our eighths were supposed to go.” This wasn’t how our life was supposed to go.

When I was nineteen, I met a boy on the eighth of August. Infinity day he called it. Fate.

That day changed my life forever.

We found out our birthdays were both on the eighth. Mine in January, his in November. The fucking chances. It was cute then, cruel now. I remember the day I met him like it happened yesterday. One mischievous grin at me and I was gone.

Then every month on the eighth we made time for each other. It didn’t matter what we did as long as it was together. It went on like that for years.

The eighths were always ours.