Page 42 of Midnight Ink

“I’ve been waiting on you to make the first move.”

“I don’t make moves, Maddox. I listen and follow direction, all while I know shit’s going to go wrong but I’m powerless to stop any of it.” Ian’s jaw tightens as he looks back out to the water. “I want you almost as much as I envy you.” The admission paints his cheeks red.

“What?”

His eyes scan me again, something softer just for me in his lake-water eyes. “You’re brave and daring. You don’t let anything stand in your way, and I’m here working a shitty job with no idea what the fuck I want to do but too afraid to do anything about it. Nothing scares you.”

I move closer to him, my fingers brushing his. There’s something heavy here between us I can’t name. All I know is, I’ve never felt it before. “That’s not true.” I nearly choke on air as his eyes meet mine. “You scare me.”

He snorts. “No I don’t.”

“If you didn’t scare me, I’d have kissed you by now. I’m afraid to fuck this up, Ian.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you. I like you a lot, and I’d really like to kiss you again. And then keep kissing you. Then maybe you can stay the night with me and we’ll keep kissing. Maybe more if you want.”

“Are you asking to be my boyfriend?”

I weigh my options. “My boyfriend, or if that’s too much for you, my really good friend who kisses and touches me exclusively.”

“You want to be my exclusive friend?”

I smile wide and lean in. Our foreheads almost touch. I’m warm here in this pocket just for us. Our lips hover and I can see the fire in him to pull back and not let me have my way.

When he finally leans forward, it’s not gentle. It’s a brutal press of our lips. Hungry and desperate. Ian crumbles and I grab him, pulling him closer, my fingers in his hair.

He snaps back, breaking the kiss. I don’t know much, but I know I want to do everything I can to keep the look in his eyes he has right now. “So, exclusive friends, then?”

He rolls his eyes and puts space between us. “My boyfriend’s an idiot.”

Ian must still be shaking the sand off his jeans. We stayed out there for a few hours, and I told him about the shop. My plans. Anna’s going to be my receptionist. I was going to teach her to tattoo but she can’t draw for shit. I don’t care what she does, but she will be at the shop. She could be a well-paid door greeter for all I care. I take care of my people, and Anna is people. She was the people.

Until Ian.

I’ve asked him to try tattooing. He’s done a little here and there and I think he’s getting the hang of the machine. For all his pessimism he’s a great learner. Fast, and follows directions clearly. He’s fucking brilliant.

“Did you lose the bulb up there?”

“Fuck off, Maddox.” I hear him from the bathroom and smile.

“I could have helped, you know.”

The door opens a crack. “No. Thank you.” He shuts it again.

Instead of driving back home we decided to rent a cheap room for the night. I wasn’t sure what time my mom was coming back tonight, and I know Ian avoids us hanging out there. I flip through my phone and look at some designs I’ve done. Ian hasn’t seen the galaxy tattoo I’ve planned for his chest yet.

I’ll show him when we get back. It’s going to be a lot of work, but it’s going to look beautiful on him. It’ll look like his chest is disappearing into the black ink of space.

I’m doing a tattoo for Anna tomorrow night. Maybe I can convince him to let me outline it in the morning. He’s got a few now, but nothing near this big. His pain tolerance seems to be okay, but this is pretty big and in a shitty spot.

The bathroom door opens and Ian steps out in his boxers, eyes down. Embarrassment clear. I told him he didn’t have to do this. There are other options and we’re both adults. I’m immature as fuck, admittedly, but I’d never want to embarrass him. “You okay?” Ian looks around the room nodding. The nerves are leaking off him.

I want this so bad, but I need him to be okay first.

“I’m fine.”

I reach for him and pull him onto the bed to sit next to me, my arm looping around his shoulders. I press a kiss to the side of his head. “We don’t have to.”