Page 79 of Midnight Ink

“I hate you.” He shrugs. “You may love me, but I hate you.”

I smile. “Hate how cute I am maybe.”

His lips wobble until he slips out a laugh. “I hate that the most.”

I bite his neck. “You really don’t.”

His arms go around my neck with a deep sigh. “I really, really don’t.”

SEVENTEEN

JULIAN

My hand smooths over the bed and my eyes blink open at the lack of heat beside me. The space next to me is empty.

Fuck.

I don’t regret what happened last night. I knew having sex with Ian would hit differently, but I didn’t expect that. Sex is usually just sex, but that last night . . . fuck. His arms around me, the sweet squeeze of his body around me. I’ve never felt like that. Then when he got on top, the beautiful lines of his body flexing with his movement, his dick bouncing with every roll of his hips . . . My eyes were locked on his tattoos, like my own personal galaxy to fall into.

I nearly told him I loved him. It was there at the edge of my brain and on the tip of my tongue.

That would have been too much, though, I think.

I don’t want to scare him away.

I take a few minutes to get my head together. I wonder where he went. He’s probably spiraling just like that first day we kissed.

I sit up and find my sweats and pull them on then reach for my hoodie. Where is it? Then I see the curtain to the sliding door’s open and my sweater on the man I was inside last night. He’s sitting on the balcony, knees drawn to his chest, bare feet perched on the plastic chair as he looks out into the rain.

He’s wearing my hoodie.

That’s gotta be a good sign, right?

Grabbing our blanket, I wrap it around my shoulders and brace against the brisk morning air as I step out onto the balcony. He looks up as the door slides open and gives me a sad smile. “Sorry.” He smiles softly, not meeting my eyes as I sit beside him on the other chair. It’s quiet out here. I’m afraid to break the silence.

I watch him hug his knees and look at me, wearing his boxers and my hoodie.

I smile at his bare legs and toes perched on the edge of the seat. Running his fingers through his messy hair, he smiles as the awkwardness takes hold.

I don’t know how to do this. I don’t want to regret what happened. I won’t regret it. Last night was the best night of my life. If I had my way, Ian would be beside me, under me, inside me, all the time.

Ian loves big, and Maddox will always hold the biggest parts of him, I think.

I just want to know if maybe there’s some room for me too.

“How are you feeling?”

He smiles softly. “My ass is sore.”

I snort and can’t help smiling as Ian starts laughing. I join him as our laughs break the tension. “Did good, then?”

“Ten out of ten.” He smiles wider, then pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. “I’m sorry I can’t handle shit.”

“What?”

“This. This freakout every single time. I hate it, and I don’t know why I do it.”

I was afraid he’d feel like this. “Do you have any regrets?”