Page 99 of Midnight Ink

At his station.

The knock on my door is violent enough to rip me out of my thoughts.

My heart lurches. Ever since the morning Maddox died, sudden knocks send me into a panic. Another round of knocks echo. I get up and wrench the door open.

Anna stands there. Furious.

Her snake bites stick out because she’s clenching her jaw so tight. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Aw, I missed you too, baby girl.”

Her tiny fist twists into my shirt and I’m shocked she doesn’t punch me. Instead she shoves me backward and slams the door behind her. “You know I don’t get involved in men’s bullshit, so I’m really pissed off.”

“You’re kind of red.”

Her jaw clenches tighter. “Do you know where I was yesterday?”

“Some crevice you carved out near the gates of hell?”

Her lips purse. “Jules.”

Oh shit.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Ian!”

I move toward the coffee maker. I’m going to need caffeine for this. I haven’t slept since we got back, and I’m trying very hard not to think about why. “You’re lucky I took an edible before I came over here or my fingers would be so tight around your throat right now!” She mocks choking the air. “Do I have to physically drag you to a watering hole and shove your head inside to make you drink?!”

“I don’t think that’s how the saying goes.”

“Ian! You love him!” she snaps. “Holy shit, we all know you love him, and you hurt him!”

“I—” I think of my hesitation and fear. Worse. The look on his face. “I know, but I’ve thought about⁠—”

“You. Love. Him!” She buries her face in her hands and screams, then drops them, eyes shining. “I can’t do this anymore. I miss him too, you know. Not that you ever ask me how I feel, but I do!”

“You don’t like to talk about it. I just thought⁠—”

“I know I don’t!” she yells. “But I would like you to at least try.” She swallows hard. “Ask me how I’m doing and I’ll tell you to fuck off, but you ask me anyway, Ian. It’s what friends do. You still check in, even if it makes me uncomfortable. I’d rather be uncomfortable than feel like you don’t give a shit. Ask me!”

“How . . .” I’m so confused. “How are you doing, Anna?”

“I’m fucking miserable, Ian. I’m miserable and I fucking miss him! I hate this! I fucking hate this! I hate how unfair this is. I hate how hard he worked while he was alive to achieve something he never got the chance to see! I hate it!” I wince at her scream. She shakes her head, her pale skin growing blotchy. “He was yours, yeah, sure, but he was mine first! He was my best friend. My brother. You have no clue what I’ve been through. No clue what he meant to me!”

She drops onto the floor crouching with her head tucked into her arms resting on her knees.

Her small body shudders. I crouch down on the floor beside her, tentatively trying to put my arms around her, awkward and not knowing where to place them. When they do make contact she sags into me. I blink the burn in my eyes away. I rub her back and let her cry.

“This is so weird,” I whisper.

“I know.” She sobs harder.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I’ve been a shitty friend.” She nods. “I’m going to be better, though. I promise.”

“I miss him so much.”

“Me too.” I hug her tighter. “Could you imagine if he were a ghost and could see this right now.”

A laugh bubbles out of her throat. “He’d be laughing his ass off.” Finally, she pulls her face back. Her cheeks are streaked with makeup. She reaches for me, and I think she’s going to hug me, but instead she wipes her makeup onto my shirt.