Page 54 of These Wicked Hearts

Now there’s Gage. Normally when fixation takes hold of my brain, I’d drink it away. I’m trying so hard to be good. “I’ll be fine, okay. Everything will be okay.”

“If you need anything, please call me, alright? Please. I miss the fuck out of you.”

I nod, even though there’s no way I’m burdening him any more than I already have. Oli has his own life now. A great life with a person he loves more than anything. I need to stop relying on other people to keep my shit together. I need to grow the fuck up. It’s hard not to compare myself to them, though. My friends are a lot older than I am. They’re in different stages of their lives, secure in their decisions, and it feels like I’m constantly treading water. “I will. I promise.”

“Otters game next month,” he says to break the tension.

“Yeah, and we’re going to kick your ass.”

We park and I see Gage outside, leaning against the bar, talking to Vanessa and Andre. I get out of Oli’s car. “I’ll be in, in a second.” He smirks at me but walks ahead, grabbing Andre from behind and planting a kiss on his neck.

Vanessa follows my friends into the bar, but Gage holds back, his pretty brown eyes lit with amusement. Silence stretches between us. Finally, a smile splits his face. “You’re . . . something.”

“That bad?”

He huffs out a laugh. “Didn’t say bad.”

“You didn’t say good either.”

“I’m still processing.” He crosses his arms, leaning back against the building. “You hit people for a living, are around lots of naked men, and you travel. And here I was thinking you were some kind of naked oil wrestler.”

“Did you really?” I lean in. “Did you picture it?”

He pushes me back with a laugh. I don’t miss the grin tugging at his lips. I like the way he smiles. It feels like he’s trying his best not to, but he can’t resist the urge.

“It’s taking some processing. You were . . .”

I step a little closer, not quite in his space but close enough to feel his heat and smell that intoxicating cologne he wears. “I was what, Gage?”

I should be more mindful of an audience, but we’re alone in the middle of nowhere. It’s what drew Oli, Grey, and me here last season. It’s quiet out here now.

“Impressive.”

“You couldn’t keep your eyes off me, huh?”

He shrugs, looking away. “You’re hard to miss.”

“Good hard, or bad hard.”

“Annoying hard.”

My grin splits wider. “Still counts.”

He rolls his eyes, but I see the corner of his mouth threaten to give in. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Atlas. You’re not as impressive as you think you are.”

“Too late.” I beam. “Already there. Ego inflated.”

There’s a moment where neither of us speaks. The noise from the bar gently floats outside. It’s a Wednesday night and not many cars are in the parking lot. “Did you have fun tonight?” I want to ask why he was there, but I don’t even care. I’m just happy to see him. Even if he knows my secret now.

He hesitates, then sighs. “Parts of it.”

“Which parts?”

His brown eyes pour into mine with so much heat it feels like a gentle hand strokes my stomach. “The parts where I could just watch you without hearing ridiculous shit come out of your mouth.” He grins wide.

“Ouch,” I laugh. “So, you admit you like to watch me. Is voyeurism a kink of yours?”

“Not a fan of watching people have sex, but I’d watch you play with your ass.”