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While anyone who’d dealt with me had been warned crossing me would be their last action on this earth, obviously there was someone willing to test my resolve.
Even now, most people didn’t want to meet me and if they did, even the most powerful men were eager to task a subordinate to continue our working relationship.
I enjoyed putting the fear of God into men, and even certain women at least to a point. After all, I wasn’t a good man even if I had my moments when someone loving me felt possible.
“Is there a point to you being here?” I shoved my hands into my trouser pockets before turning around. In doing so, I was reminded of the season, those employees yet to leave for the extended holiday dressed in festive attire.
“One, to remind you it was Christmas,” he began while thumping in my chair and taking the opportunity to place his legs on the corner of my desk. “Two, I’m curious if you bothered Christmas shopping this year since I know how much you loathe such a ridiculous chore. And three, to remind you as you asked about the holiday party at Graham Taylor Associates.” He yanked his arm in front of him in a dramatic production. “Which coincidentally began two hours ago.”
I ground my teeth before replying. “Yes, I went Christmas shopping all by myself, including trying to find some American Girl Doll Mina is insistent on Santa bringing down the chimney. Did I tell you that I hate toy stores?”
“You do realize you can actually order things online now. Right?” He thoroughly enjoyed making fun of me.
“Isabel believes Christmas is about the experience and not the gifts.”
“Speaking of which…”
“I assure you I found a few gifts she might like.”
“A new house? A vacation villa in Italy? Oh, I know. A special private island in Fiji.”
“Very funny.” I checked my watch. He was right in that the day was getting away from me. “You are playing uncle this year, are you not?” I pitched his feet to the floor and sat down, uncertain why I was more on edge than I’d been recently.
“Only if you’re playing Santa Claus.”
“You mean Ded Moroz,” I corrected. “You’re far too Americanized, brother.” In Russia, Santa was known as Grandfather Frost and carried a magical staff.
“And why would you want to celebrate anything from Russian heritage?”
“Because we are Russian, Roman. Never forget that.”
“If you say so.”
He was that much younger than me and his memory of life in Moscow was fading.
“I want this holiday to be special for Mina,” I told him.
“Which is why you’re here at the office instead of baking sugar cookies with your main squeeze. Right?”
“She’s working.” My answer was clipped, which allowed him to laugh. Since my desire for Isabel had shifted into something more long term, I’d become even more possessive.
“I guess you’re perfect for each other.” He was observing my reaction while calculating how to continue tormenting me. As of late that had become too often and all because my two entirely different personalities clashed almost daily.
Maybe so, but both evil sides had one goal in mind.
Ice. Cold. Revenge.
For most of my life, I’d been called an unfeeling asshole who never showed emotions. Only those people didn’t see me late at night when there’d been no cameras and no employees relying on me or enemies lurking in the shadows.
Then I’d been myself, an unconsolable man with a lust for spilling blood all while falling into the trap of despair.
Even then I’d shown no signs of mercy under any circumstances. Roman’s cajoling served as yet another reminder of how much I’d changed in two months.
Enough that more than those closest to me had made comments that I appeared happier and that I’d reacted with kindness instead of fury.
For most people, that would signify personal growth.
For a man born in darkness and violence, the change offered a direct one-way ticket to my greatest and only weakness.
