Page 89 of Hate It with You

“Hey, are you okay?” He’s so tentative and gentle when he asks the question that I hate myself more for not saying it back when I had the chance.

“Alex, I– I—” He places a finger over my lips before I continue.

“Oh, baby. I know,” Touching his forehead against mine, he continues, “I know. It’s okay, wait until you’re ready.” The relief that passes through me has me relaxing my body in his arms.

He holds me as he grabs a blanket from the bed and throws it over us. Moving so we are lying on our sides, our legs still entwined, we hold each other until we’re fast asleep in each other's arms.

I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone more than the way that I love Alex.

38

BETH

Adistant knocking sound wakes me from my sleep. Blinking my eyes, I wake to the early morning sun just beginning to shine through my bedroom windows. Alex groans beneath where I rest my head on his chest.

A small twinge in my neck has me sitting up, though Alex grabs at me in protest as I stretch my neck.

“Who is that?” Alex says, eyes still closed.

My hand goes to his arm, worried, considering I didn’t plan to have any visitors today. “I’m not sure.” The shake in my voice is noticeable as my grip tightens on Alex’s arm.

Alex sits up next to me in bed, kissing me lightly on the cheek. “I’ll go see who it is. It’ll be okay.” He yawns as he gets out of bed, slipping on his slacks from the night before. I follow him, getting out of bed as I slip on sweats and a sweatshirt.

“Stay here, I’ll see who it is first,” he says before he exits my bedroom. My leg bounces as I sit on the edge of my bed, breathing as quietly as I can, attempting to hear who is at the door.

The deep vibrato of another man’s voice sounds from the living room, but I can’t make out who it is. The two men speak in hushed tones, interrupted by the loud bang of the door slamming open, the visitor raising his voice. When I recognize who it is, my nervous system regulates, calmed by the owner of the voice, only for my heart rate to tick up when I realize how angry he is.

“Listen, asshole, you want to tell me why you’re half naked in my sister’s apartment? Last time I saw you, she looked ready to rip your head off.”

I’m on my feet in no time as Benny’s voice trails in from the living room. With only a few strides, I’m standing in the living room, watching as Benny, overnight bag in tow, stands toe-to-toe with Alex, a finger pointed at his chest as Alex would budge from such a move.

Alex has his hands up, taking a step back. “It’s not like that. Come on in, and we’ll make some breakfast.”

Benny cuts him off, slinging his bag off his shoulder and letting it fall to the floor with a thud. “I’m not eating breakfast with you.” A laugh gets caught in my throat as I watch the two bicker over something as small as breakfast. Benny whips his head toward me. “Ellie, are you okay?”

He tries to take a step toward me, but Alex scoffs. “She’s fine.” Before Alex can finish his thought, Benny shoves past him, making his way toward me and dropping his bag in the process.

Benny wraps his arms around me, eyes scanning my face and arms for any signs of the attack when he pulls back from the hug.

“I’m okay, Benny. Really. I fought him off this time.” I do my best to give Ben a soft smile, trying to calm his nerves.

“Are you sure? What if he comes back?” Ben asks, concern shining bright in his eyes. Before I can respond, Alex is doing so for me.

“She’s fine, Benny. I took care of him.” I wince at Alex using my childhood nickname for Ben. He’s always hated when someone else calls him Benny, the same way I hate when other people call me Ellie.

Ben turns toward Alex at a snail's pace, his cheeks reddening with anger as his fists clench by his sides.

“What the fuck are you still doing here?” Ben bites out the question, taking a step closer to Alex.

Alex, still in protective mode over me given recent events, snaps back, “Making sure your sister stays safe. Tell me, do you have the same tendency toward violence as your father?”

“I do when I find out my sister’s been stalked and attacked and I show up to find some asshole in her apartment.” He motions toward Alex as he takes another step closer to him.

“Benny, back off,” I say, approaching the two of them on their side, hoping to de-escalate the situation.

Ben looks toward me, his face twisted in a mix of anger and confusion. “What is he doing here, Beth?”

I stammer, unsure of how to answer the question. Unsure of what Alex is to me. “Boyfriend” sounds too juvenile and “lover” will only piss Ben off more.