Page 48 of Any Port in a Storm

Sam’s reading my soul from two feet away, but it seems like he comes up short. His face goes blank. “Do you really not know?”

I wrinkle my brow. “Know what?”

“Laurel,” he says softly. “It’s Nick.”

My breath catches around his words. I did think I knew where the conversation was headed, but I can’t say I expected this particular detour. “Nick and I are just friends.”

“I know you always say that.”

My volume ratchets up. “Because it’s the truth.”

Sam shakes his head sadly. “Yeah. But I don’t think it is.”

“Sam.” I step toward him, my hand outstretched. He pulls back, and my wrist hovers awkwardly in the air, a physical manifestation of the connection we’ve lost. “I promise, I want to be with you.”

“I want to believe you,” he says fervently. “But, deep down, I just can’t. And I think if you were to really do some soul-searching, you’d find that I’m right.”

“Is this because of Alyssa? Because I promise, Nick was blindsided by the breakup. There isn’t some kind of buried agenda between the two of us. Alyssa was way off base, and⁠—”

“Laurel, no.” The line over Sam’s nose deepens. “It’s because of how you were the one who consoled him afterward.”

I try to interject, to explain that this is just what friends do, but he barrels on.

“It’s because I didn’t see you for a week after the Halloween party because you were afraid to leave Nick alone.”

“That’s what you do for friends when they’re heartbroken,” I retort, the world lurching more than a little bit as it hits that my relationship with Sam is about to end for the same reason Nick’s did last month.

And it isn’t even true.

I mean, sure, there was a time when I would have jumped at the opportunity to be Nick’s girlfriend. There was definitely an attraction there, at least on my part.

But after the dance last year, I kind of locked that desire away, and I haven’t been able to find the key. And, besides, being with Sam reminded me that a relationship can be low-stakes and unassuming. That it doesn’t have to put my heart at risk.

These days, my feelings for Nick are different than they used to be. It’s like a deeper, more subtle kind of affection. Something that I can’t afford to lose, that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life.

He’s my best friend.

“It is,” Sam agrees, quieter now. “And I’ve always known you and Nick were close, and I’ve been fine with it. More than fine.”

I raise a brow, and he insists, “I’m fine with the idea of it. You should have guy friends, and I don’t want to stop you.” He flicks his gaze to the floor. “But I think it’s more than that for you, and, even if you don’t realize it yet, I don’t want to wait here until you wake up and figure it out.”

“Sam.”

“I can’t be your consolation prize, okay? I’ve seen how you look at him.”

I cross my arms. “And how is that, exactly?”

He looks directly into my face. “Like you can’t live without him.”

I swallow hard. And it’s in that moment that it hits me.

I don’t think I can.

And I don’t know what that means.

“I just don’t know what I did wrong,” I’m saying, while Grace and Nick watch me sympathetically over a box of Venezia’s pizza. “I did my best with Sam. I really cared about him, you know?”

“I know, hon,” Grace reassures me. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”