Page 14 of Crack the Ice

Her bright blue eyes move to her brother in the front seat, who gives her a small nod. I place my hand on the back of Cade’s headrest and turn to look at her over my shoulder. “Figured I’d take you both to the rink today. Abby said she wanted to try to work out whatever math problem you gave her last time while Cade’s at practice.”

She throws herself back into the seat, letting out a dramatic sigh before putting her seatbelt on. “I don’t know why it’s so hard. She can do it in her head, but she can’t figure out how to do it by showing our work the way the teachers want us to.”

“That’s because the teachers want to confuse everyone so they can seem smarter,” Cade adds, pulling his hood over his head and leaning against the window. “There’s no reason to add all the extra steps. It’s like rambling to hear yourself talk, just in math form.”

I cough out a laugh, doing my best to be respectful. But damn, they’re still doing that? I remember thinking it was overkill when I was in school, and that was a good fourteen years ago. “I’m sure if you explain it to her a few more times, she’ll catch on.”

“Sure, sure,” she drawls. “Is there food? I’m hungry.”

“You’re there three times a week, Lily,” her brother says flatly. “You already know the answer to that.”

I look at him out of the corner of my eye, noting his arms are now crossed over his chest. There’s not much I can do right now. I’m not going to chastise him in front of Lily.

“There is, but I also ordered you guys Publix subs. They should be there by the time we get there.”

“Yay!” Lily bounces in the seat, and that pulls a smile from her brother. A win if I’ve ever seen it. I turn up the radio, and let my racing mind be settled by the little girl in the back seat singing the lyrics to Adolescents by Incubus word for freaking word.

The rink is colder than normal, or maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t been able to focus since Cade told me he thought I’d get tired of them.

We’ve taken over one of the vacant offices in the admin wing of the arena. It’s got a desk big enough for both of them, a fridge, and a whiteboard hanging on the wall that Lily loves to use to work out her math equations.

While they quietly work on their homework, I scroll through article after discussion board on adoptions in the state of Florida. Each new piece of information makes me hopeful and annoyed in the same breath.

I’m so caught up in what I’m reading that I don’t hear the door open, I don’t notice who’s on the other side, or that both kids have stopped and looked up until the heavy door clicks shut. Before my brain can even process the outline of the woman standing in the doorway, Lily’s ear-piercing scream cuts through the small space.

“Cecy!” Her tiny body closes the distance in a flash, almost knocking Cecilia off her feet when she rams into her.

I blink rapidly as I try to pull myself together. I never thought I’d hear that name inside this rink. She looks so uncomfortable as she stands just inside the door in a lilac sweater with a white tank top underneath, dark wash jeans with flour stuck to the side. She’s a dream anytime of the day.

“Hey, sweet girl.” She wraps her arm around Lily’s shoulders, squeezing for the briefest of seconds. “What are you doing here?”

“Cade’s got practice today. Reed said he’d bring us here instead of leaving me home. I gotta teach Abby how to do a math problem.” Lily looks at me and shrugs.

“Oh,” Cecilia says softly, her eyes meeting mine from across the room. Something flashes through them, but it’s gone before I can put my finger on it. “That was nice of him.”

Lily smiles up at her, but lets her arms fall away from her waist. “Yeah, he’s the best. Did you know he coaches both our hockey teams, and he always answers when we call.” She pauses, cupping her hand around the side of her mouth. “Even if it’s super late and they’re traveling. He even read me the princess and the pea one time cause I couldn’t fall asleep and Kelsey was too tired.”

Cecilia’s chin trembles, and she bites down on her lip hard enough that it turns white to make it stop. She sets the box of whatever she was carrying down on the table next to the door. All three of our eyes are trained on her as she sets her hands on Lily’s shoulders. “I’m so happy you have someone who’s there for you like that.”

Lily’s head tilts to the side, her eyebrows pulling together slightly. “Who’s there for you?” she asks. The question on its own is innocent, but I see the moment it cracks Cecilia clean open.

Her eyes meet mine over the top of Lily’s head, tears building faster than she can stop them. The sight has me on my feet in an instant, but she shakes her head before I can get any closer.

She opens her mouth to answer Lily’s question, and I’m hanging by a thread, desperate for her answer. The answer should have been an easy, “Mav is.” But that hasn’t been the case in years.

She hesitates, her lips parting slightly as she barely whispers. “Me, just me.”

The space she left behind all those years ago is hollow, and her words deepen that chasm. They’re cold, automated almost, like she’s told herself that very thing over and over until she started to believe it.

My mouth opens to dispute it, but as luck would have it, her phone rings, effectively ending every opportunity I have.

She pulls it out of her back pocket, and I see the first tear fall, missing her face completely because of the angle of her head.

“I’ve gotta go.” She shakes her phone. “But there’s bread and cupcakes in there. It was extra from today. I figured I’d drop them off here on the way to see Markus. We’re going to do something for Kait.”

She doesn’t give anyone a chance to say anything else before she pulls the door open and disappears into the hallway.

Lily’s lip is now trembling, the poor empathic soul she is. “Is she okay?”