Page 112 of True Blue

When I look over at her, her expression is open and kind.

I shake my head.

“Would you like to join me for dinner? A couple of my friends are flying in for the wedding, and they should be landing in an hour. We’re going out tonight. Would you like to come?”

My first instinct is to say no, because no matter how comfortable I feel with Petra, I don’t know these people. I think of my comfortable bed back at the hotel suite, the tub, and a hot bath and quiet relaxation.

But then I realize how many nights I can have that back in Jersey, but how this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. New friends, even if it’s just for the vacation. I can always go back to the hotel if I’m not having fun.

Then, Ellie’s voice in my head.

“Live a little, Indie girl.”

“You… they wouldn’t mind?”

Petra laughs, her whole face lighting up.

“Goodness, no. Half of our group are strays!”

21

INDIE

AUGUST

There are moments when you truly regret going out. When you feel your social battery drain in real time while you’re at a bar or club, and this enormous wave of sadness and exhaustion rolls over you hard enough to kill your mood.

Back in college, I would order another cheap drink to combat the anxiety. Alcohol softened the edges of that feeling, which isn’t healthy, but that’s another one of those lessons you learn before your brain fully develops.

Petra and her friends were like an IV drip of direct warmth and confidence to my system.

There was never a single moment where I felt like an outlier the way I’d feared. Petra told me they had all known each other for at least five years, so I kept waiting for the moment when they’d slip into some inside joke, all laugh, and I’d laugh too just to keep from feeling left out.

It never came.

Lupita, Genevieve, Zuri, and Petra were incredible—warm, sharp, funny, and so deeply kind.

Lupita was from Spain but lived in Portugal with her family and worked as the CFO of some tech company I absolutely could not keep up with when she explained what they actually did, except that it clearly made her a lot of money.

Genevieve was a Fashion Buyer from France, but she traveled to New York all the time and told me, since I’d be living so close, “We must have lunch together when I’m in town, ma poupée.” She smoked like a chimney and reminded me so much of Phoebe in the way she could shut down any hungry man who approached our table with a single look.

Zuri was born in Ethiopia, immigrated to Canada as a child, and now works as a Private Equity lawyer for a big-name firm in Toronto. Despite her high-stress corporate job, she was like a Disney Princess—unbelievably kind, musical voice, and ethereal beauty.

And Petra, who seemed to be the sun they all revolved around. She had deliberately chosen a restaurant with gluten-free options for me, and the care touched me in ways I couldn’t fully name.

I felt included. I felt wanted. I felt folded into their embrace, especially after one martini, when I spilled everything about my relationship and the women listened in collective horror.

Lupita burst into rapid Spanish, picking up her knife and gesticulating so wildly with it that I winced when she carved into her steak with the precision of a surgeon.

Zuri asked, completely seriously, whether I had considered suing for the financial losses from the vacation.

Meanwhile, Genevieve and Petra debated ways to make Teddy and his family pay, which ranged from a glitter-bomb package to maybe an actual bomb package.

I couldn’t help it; I burst out laughing. Loud, carefree, true belly laughs that made them burst into laughter, too. It was so nice to just vent, to have someone listen to me without judgment, to advocate for me in ridiculous ways like bombing Dawn’s house with glitter—the actual bomb would be a step too far, no matter how much I hate Dawn.

After dinner, we walked through London together, Zuri’s arm linked through mine, Petra bouncing ahead and singing along to music spilling out of different pubs, while Genevieve and Lupita danced in the street like they owned it.

Half-buzzed, we stumbled into a drag show, did shots, and after that, the night blurs.