Page 121 of True Blue

I underestimated how gloomy London weather could be. The rain jacket is a beautiful baby blue color that Lupita said complemented my eyes and skin tone, and even though I had the money to buy it myself, Genevieve insisted because she gets a discount through the designer she works for.

These girls have been a complete godsend at the start of this vacation, and I want to be optimistic and believe that these friendships can continue past this trip.

Of course, it comes down to me choosing to continue the friendship.

Today, however, I’m on my own. The girls are attending the wedding at the National Gallery, and we have plans to meet up tomorrow for my final day here. I’m excited to move on to the next destination, but also sad. London has treated me wonderfully so far, even with the interruption yesterday from my idiot ex-boyfriend.

A lot of London was planned for two. I wanted to appreciate it with Teddy. While the National Gallery was beautiful, and seeing the art was wonderful, I only truly had fun when Petra was there beside me, laughing.

So, even though it goes against my rigid planning tendencies and makes me feel a little aimless, I’ve been waking up and asking myself what I want to do today. Because that’s really what this is supposed to be about. This vacation is about me. Celebrating the end of the hard, brutal, exhausting journey. I got so tangled up in the excitement of sharing it with Teddy that I forgot this trip was mine first.

I find a place near the Rose Garden at Hyde Park—the name making me smile—overlooking the fountains.

There’s a free bench I quickly snag, sighing when I sit and inhale deeply through my nose. The sweet scent of the flowers wraps around me, comforting me as I hold the box tightly in my lap.

The envelope is still resting on top of it, and I stare at it for a long moment.

I’ve already contacted Dunk by phone and sent back the paperwork for the inheritance Ellie left me. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when I saw the amount written down, and then again when he confirmed that it wasn’t a typo. Ellie left me a life-changing amount of money—money that will wipe out my debt and allow me to breathe.

But I am so incredibly glad she donated two million in my name. I didn’t need that much. I didn’t need the money, period. I’d give it up to have her back.

My fingers press against the ring that hangs around my neck, on the same chain as the moonstone necklace Teddy had bought me. I was on the plane to New Jersey when I realized I hadn’t given the necklace back. I had given back the drawings because I wanted to scrub Theodore Williams from my life, but not the necklace.

And I am kind of glad that I didn’t leave it behind.

Because that day was truly good, and the memories that bubble up make me happy.

Teddy and I walked hand in hand at the craft fair, Ellie’s arm looped through his other one to help her walk through the crowded, grassy field.

The sweet scent of funnel cake surrounded us, and while I couldn’t partake in the gluten-filled confectionery, damn it smelled good.

Teddy walked with his chin held high, a bright smile on his face, and with a bounce in his step. It made me beam, and got rid of the mind-to-mouth filter I usually had with everyone but Teddy.

“You look like a peacock,” I told Teddy, giggling when he wiggled his shoulders like he was shaking out his feathers, a faux-smug look on his face.

“I’ve got the two most beautiful women in the world on my arms,” Teddy said, winking at me. “I feel like a king.”

Ellie snorted, her eyes catching on some handmade pottery. “More like the court jester, goofball,” she wiggled her fingers, heading over to the vendor. I laughed at Teddy’s pout, smoothing the line between his furrowed brows with my thumb.

“Well, I think you look like a king, Teddy bear.”

His eyes lit up.

“And you,” he said, lifting my arm and twirling me beneath it before wrapping his big arm around me and pressing me against him. “My queen. Always.”

“Does that mean you’ll kneel for me?” I asked, smirking as I bit my lip.

“Any time,” he murmured, his lips brushing right against my ear, the deep rumble of his voice making me shiver. “Any place.”

He pressed a long kiss to my cheek, and at the time, it felt like sealing a promise.

That was when I still had hope for us. When I was still under the impression that Teddy would choose me because, up until Ellie’s death, he had been a great partner. Sure, his mother was overbearing, attached to Teddy in a way I deemed unhealthy, and seemed to be in a strange competition with me for Teddy’s affections.

Thinking about that now is confusing because it makes me doubt myself all over again. I tried to gaslight myself for a while, telling myself maybe it was normal, maybe Teddy and his mom were just very close, maybe I was misunderstanding something everyone else seemed to accept.

It wasn’t the end of the world if my boyfriend’s mother didn’t like me, because we wouldn’t have to see her much once we were in New Jersey together, creating our own family. I kept telling myself to hold on to that dumb hope.

Then Nana died, and everything went to shit.