Page 151 of True Blue

Compassion bleeds from every word, and my chest feels so tight.

“Sometimes we get in our own way,” Indie shrugs sadly.

“That’s exactly it,” I whisper, nodding. “I chose familiarity instead of standing up for you. I was a stubborn ass.”

“A stubborn, manipulated, and abused ass,” she corrects, her lips twitching.

My mouth curves into a small grin.

“A stubborn, manipulated, and abused ass who treated the love of his life awfully and allowed others to treat her awfully too.”

That wipes the humor from her face, and it feels like the guillotine is hanging above my head. Her jaw tightens, and she crosses her arms once more.

“That brings me to my next question—Lily.”

Swallowing hard, I nod.

“Ask me anything.”

Indie looks right at me and—God, her eyes. Pain. Hurt. Heartbreak. I put those there. I made her feel that. And I fucking hate myself for it.

“Every time your mother called, and you went running,” Indie says, her voice sharp. “Lily was there, wasn’t she?”

“She was,” I admit, my mouth twisting. It’s a little embarrassing now to see how stupid and naive I was. “She was always there.”

Indie looks away for a moment, blinking a few times like she’s trying to push back tears. My chest burns, and I lift my hand to rub over that spot, searching for relief that I do not deserve, and it doesn’t come.

“What did you guys talk about?” she asks, keeping her voice flat. “What did you guys… do?”

And I answer her with complete honesty.

“I’d go over to see my mother, and Colleen and Lily would be there—conveniently. Our mothers would disappear into the kitchen or the garden. Lily and I would sit in the living room or the dining room. Every conversation we had was just a variation of the same thing. She talked. Mostly about her divorce and her ex-husband.”

“And how did you respond?” Indie asks, still not looking at me.

I wait.

My eyes stay on Indie, looking at her intently and waiting for her to meet my eyes.

And when she does, with hurt shining in them, I tell her.

“I talked about you.”

“He never appreciated anything I did, Theo!” Lily cried, delicately dabbing her eyes. “No matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough for him. He would pick apart my clothes, my cooking, my decorations… it was so awful!”

Sympathy swelled inside me at her sad words. Indie appreciated every little thing I did for her and told me so. It sucked to hear that others didn’t share that.

What Indie gave me was… I can’t even describe it accurately with words. She made me feel capable. She made me feel like I could do anything.

“I’m sorry, Lily,” I said honestly. “That sounds rough, but hey, you’re better off without him.”

“I just feel so down. Who’s going to want me? A divorcee before thirty. I’m pathetic.”

I looked over to the doorway, wondering if my mother and Colleen were going to come back from grabbing more wine. I already knew, though—probably not anytime soon. Lily looked at me sadly, and I sighed, giving her a small smile.

“You’re not pathetic. You walked away from a bad situation—that’s really admirable,” I said. “You should be proud.”

Lily beamed at me and shifted closer to me on my living room couch.