Page 202 of True Blue

I’m going to lose my license.

This is it for Dr. Miller.

So, if this is my last stand⁠—

I feel a hand on my shoulder, but Lorraine’s are folded on the table in front of her.

When I look, there’s nothing there physically, but I know who it is.

Give him hell, Indie girl.

My spine straightens.

And a small smile curves my mouth.

“I’m a physician,” I say, my voice quiet but sharp as a knife. “It took me over twelve years to become one. You all know this. You’ve experienced the same, but we all experience it differently. Four years of college that I started when I was seventeen years old, surviving on ramen noodles even though it gave me near-constant celiac attacks—it’s all I could afford while trying to pay for school and a place to live.”

Dr. Vale sits up in her seat, while Minkus looks bored. But Halloran, she looks intrigued.

Lorraine gives me an encouraging nod, her lips quirking.

“I studied and studied and studied and got into one of the best medical schools in this country by myself. I wrote so many essays for scholarships that my fingers were raw. Along with working whatever job would hire me, so I could somehow break even, pay my rent, and maybe have enough to feed myself with my discount at McDonald’s. And I still graduated with a 3.9 GPA.”

Tears sting my eyes, but I feel two hands on my shoulders, like they’re lifting me up in my seat, keeping my posture tall, my head held high.

“I didn’t choose oncology because it’s easy,” I say. “I chose it because it matters to me. I tell patients every day that they have an expiration date. That the disease inside their body is killing them. That they have lost the fight against this disease, and they are going to die. I comfort them in their darkest hour, I try to find any bit of hope in the horror, and then I have to see the next patient and act like I didn’t just destroy someone’s life.”

I lean forward, meeting each of their eyes.

“But I love what I do,” I smile, thinking of every single patient I’ve ever encountered, from all walks of life. Some I spent years with, some only days. But I remember every single one. “These people are so wonderful and witty and kind and funny and clever, and they are battling this terrifying disease with a smile on their face while they place their lives in my hands!”

My voice has climbed, and I don’t bother forcing it back down.

Dr. Vale’s mouth softens, and Dr. Halloran’s expression has turned into understanding.

Dr. Minkus seems to be shrinking in his seat.

“I worked myself to the bone, running on three hours of sleep, to survive, and I became a physician—and a pretty fucking good one, in my opinion. I think my record speaks for itself.” I gesture to the scattered folders across the table in front of us. Just words on paper, lacking the actual human emotion behind them.

“So, if you think I was willing to do all of that and still wanted to cash in on a quick payday by taking advantage of an older woman, then you misunderstand me as not only a doctor, but a human as well.”

All the doctors are quiet.

Atta girl.

I smile and take a deep breath.

“Any other questions?”

38

TEDDY

MARCH

Iknew it didn’t go well when I saw her face as she walked out those doors.

I didn’t want to go back to the hotel, too nervous to just sit around and watch tv, so I waited for the three hours she was in there.