Page 91 of True Blue

There’s a sick sense of satisfaction when the color drains from his face. I put my face right in his, my teeth bared, my eyes feral and wild.

And for the first time, he cowers in front of me. His shoulders rise to his ears, he won’t meet my eyes, and he tries to lean back away from me as much as I can.

I remind him that I didn’t get my size from him; I got it from Pop.

“Who’s the sissy now, Dad?” I move my head to meet my father’s eyes, forcing him to look at me. He flinches from the look on my face before averting his gaze once more. I spit, “You should see yourself right now. Because you look weak and scared.”

Then I turn around to the women. I chuckle, the sound empty. “Look at Judd Williams, everyone! Patriarch. Successful business owner. Big alpha man cowering in front of his little sissy son.”

My uncles don’t even try to say anything.

My cousins are surreptitiously pointing their phones at me, recording this.

I don’t even care.

I just look at my family.

“I can’t believe I let you ruin this. I can’t believe I let you ruin the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Indie.” I say, my voice breaking. “I can’t believe I never stood up to you people.”

Because this feeling right here—defending Indie, defending myself—feels fucking amazing.

What was I so scared of?

Because the worst has already happened—I’ve lost Indie. I could lose every single person in this room and move on just fine.

But the thought of having to live the next hour, the next minute, the next second without Indie is making me insane.

And it’s my reality because I didn’t choose her.

Lily then steps toward me, her voice so sweet it grates on my nerves. “Teddy⁠—”

“Don’t call me that!” I snarl, and she snaps her mouth shut. “How many fucking times do I have to tell you that only Indie can call me Teddy?”

Lily pouts, puffing out her bottom lip.

I roll my eyes. “When we were kids, do you know why I asked you out, Lily?”

She opens her mouth to answer, but I don’t let her.

“I felt sorry for you because you couldn’t fucking see that I didn’t like you.”

She pales, looking at her mother and my mother for them to deny it. And at that moment it might occur to me that we both have been following the leads of our mothers for too long.

“N-No, you⁠—”

“You just couldn’t see that I would never like you,” I point to my mother and Colleen. “But they kept fucking pushing, and like always—I gave in! Because I was weak. I am weak.”

“That’s not true—” Lily shakes her head stubbornly.

“Every time you kissed me, I was trying not to throw up because it felt like kissing my sisters,” I grimace. “Wrong.”

“You were falling for me again, your mother said⁠—”

“Christ—No, Lily,” I sigh, exasperated. “I was not falling for you. But you know what—that’s on me for making you think that I was, by not correcting you when you treated Indie like shit. And you know? Because again, I was a coward, and I felt sorry for you. My girlfriend is a fucking doctor, and you’re still stuck on a high school relationship that meant less than nothing to me.”

“You don’t mean that,” Lily sniffs. “Mom said⁠—”

“Oh, for fucks sake,” I groan, cutting her off. “Lily, I’m going to give you a piece of advice that I ignored—let go of that shit. Stop listening to your three-time divorced mother, who is too busy competing with my mother to give a shit about you.”