Page 105 of The Golden Hour

Dr. Samuel pulls a face and mutters, “Whatever,” as he slinks away.

Mason feels a brief second of regret.

That feeling crawls up his spine and he almost wants to call Samuel back and say he wants in.

But he doesn’t.

He taps his phone’s screen, the sight of his wife and daughter steadying him. A focal point. His North Star.

Mason finishes his charting, changes in the locker room, grabs his bag, and walks out of the hospital at seven-fifteen on the dot.

It feels odd.

It feels wrong, and every instinct in his body screams at him to turn back.

You are not done.

You didn’t save enough.

One more, just one more save.

Honey will understand.

She’s at home, she has plenty of help.

Just one more patient.

Come on, Daisy is too young to understand.

Just stay.

You’re a failure if you don’t.

You’re already a failure as a husband and father, you don’t want to be a failure of a physician do you?

Just one more…

When he gets in his car, he grips the steering wheel and breathes through it. Then he opens his music app, finds his wedding song, and blasts it over and over again for the drive home to drown out the voice.

By the time he pulls into the driveway of the Hayes house, he does not feel regret anymore.

He feels anticipation and love so strong it threatens to buckle his knees.

He is going to see his girls.

And when he walks inside the house, Honey sits on the couch in the living room, dressed in her cute little overalls with Daisy in her lap.

Every bit of tension bleeds from his body.

Honey’s eyes go wide and she looks surprised to see him, glancing at the grandfather clock in the corner of the room as it intones seven-thirty.

“Sorry, I’m late, Honey,” Mason says instantly. “I just had to finish my charting, and we had a patient come in at six, and…”

Mason trails off lamely, holding his breath as he looks at Honey. She doesn’t look angry, or displeased. Her face is surprised, a little baffled, but she glances down at Daisy with a small smile.

“Your daddy’s home, little flower,” she murmurs, before glancing back up to meet his eyes, the small smile still on her face.

And Mason, despite all the loss today, feels like he truly won.