Page 126 of The Golden Hour

Is he happy?

Or was he just satisfied?

Was he happy, or was he chasing satisfaction in short, bright bursts because nothing ever lasted long enough to fill him?

What he felt was fleeting, coming in crashes and spikes. Good save, Carpenter. Nice catch, Carpenter. Wow, Dr. Carpenter, how did you do that? Can you teach me? You’re amazing. What an incredible doctor. You saved my life. You saved my family. You saved me.

It wasn’t happiness, it was gluttony.

The happiness he feels at home and the satisfaction he feels at the hospital were not even the same species of feeling. One leaves him empty and desperate to chase more, while the other leaves him full, warm, energized, and grateful. Like eating junk food until his stomach hurts versus sitting down to a real meal made by someone who loved him.

Only one ever nourished him.

“No,” Mason admits, his voice almost too quiet to hear. “I’m not.”

Honey looks almost relieved at that, closing her eyes briefly with a soft sigh. He feels her breath on his face, and he finds himself inching closer to her.

“What should I do, Honey?” he asks, his voice small and thin.

Honey sighs.

“I want you to be happy, Mason,” Honey says, her sweet voice making him squeeze her hand. “That’s all I ever wanted for you. I want you to do what you think is right.”

She shakes her head.

“But I cannot tell you what to do, Mason. You have to figure it out yourself.”

Mason feels himself deflate, but also knows that she’s right. His father said he could not hand anyone else the responsibility for his recovery. Not Honey. Not Daisy. He has to want to change.

And he does.

God, he fucking does.

“We’re always going to be connected,” Honey says, her eyes glancing toward Daisy. “And I’m always going to root for you, Mason.”

Mason’s whole body goes warm at her words.

“Thank you for letting me see you guys,” Mason whispers, feeling dangerous as he lifts his hand to his lips and presses kisses to the back of it. She doesn’t pull her hand away. She just keeps her eyes on him. “Thank you, Honey, thank you, thank you, thank you....”

She opens her mouth and looks like she wants to tell him something from the look on her face. Something serious. Mason is about to ask her, but then she closes her mouth, shakes her head, and smiles.

“Did you check the freezer when you came in?”

Mason frowns. “No?”

Honey’s smile widens. “There’s a present from Daisy in there.”

“Oh?” he asks, a smile widening on his face. “What did my baby girl get me?”

“A nice pint of brownie batter ice cream.”

Mason’s eyes and nose sting, but he will not allow himself to cry over ice cream. Even gifted to him by his daughter and wife.

He swallows thickly.

“I’ll have to thank her in the morning then,” he says, shifting closer and pressing another kiss to Honey’s hand. “But how did she know brownie batter is my favorite?”

Honey smirks. “She’s a genius baby.”