Page 60 of The Golden Hour

He places his hand on the bed near her but not touching her. Honey’s eyes glance toward it before rising to meet his. She doesn’t move away, but she doesn’t come nearer.

“You are my home,” Mason stresses. “I know I did not show that to you. I know saying it now probably sounds like another insult after everything, but you are my home. You always have been.”

There’s a skeptical look on her face now.

“I won’t tell my dad’s story,” Mason says, making her frown. “But he explained something to me. When I was with you, I was fulfilled completely. Happy. Calm. Whole. But at the hospital, I was getting satisfied over and over again, and that satisfaction wasn’t healthy. It was compulsive. It was this constant chase. I was—am—an addict, I guess, but to the adrenaline of this job.”

Honey glances down at Daisy, who sighs, the sweet sound cutting through some of the tension on Honey’s face and making her smile. She presses another kiss to Daisy’s hair before leaning her cheek against the soft skull. Honey closes her eyes, and Mason lets her have this moment, waiting patiently and watching his girls together.

“I understand.”

Mason reels back slightly at Honey’s whispered words.

“You do?” Mason rasps.

Honey hums a noise of approval, looking slightly blissed out as she cuddles Daisy closer. Finally, she opens her eyes and meets his again, and the look in them makes him flinch. Fierce protectiveness.

“I can understand addiction, Mason,” Honey says. “Clinically, I guess.”

Mason feels hope well up in his chest.

Her next words kill it.

“But I’m your wife, I was pregnant with your daughter, and you chose this hospital over us,” Honey’s chin wobbles. “I can understand why, but I cannot accept it. What kind of mother would I be if I did? If I allowed my daughter’s father to treat us like that?”

Mason lowers his head and sniffs against the tears gathering.

“I am a shameful father and a despicable husband,” he says, voice raw. “I need you to know how sorry I am—for neglecting you, for neglecting Daisy. I see it now, and I fucking hate that I do, because why couldn’t I see it when you actually needed me? It was this cycle that kept pulling me in like a whirlpool, but now I see I could have stepped out. I could have chosen you.”

Honey’s glassy eyes meet his.

“It only took us almost dying for you to see.”

His gut clenches, and a cold sensation spreads through his veins. The thought of it kills him, Dr. Farah’s words ringing in his head about how close that came to being true. He would not have been able to go on without Honey. He was only a stranger to Daisy. He would have followed her, but he doesn’t say that. He’ll keep that in his chest forever.

“I love you so much, Honey,” he whispers.

That is really all he can say at this point. All the apologies, explanations, and excuses rise in his throat and die on his tongue. They will not change anything. Honey is smart enough to understand the why, but that does not excuse his callous and cruel behavior.

“I don’t have anything for you, Mason.”

Mason’s heart stops.

“Nothing. There’s nothing…” Honey gasps, pressing a kiss to Daisy’s head to steady herself. “But we are Daisy’s parents. That’s what we will be going forward,” she meets his eyes. “That’s what I need from you.”

“Of course,” Mason says, nodding, eager to do anything for her even while his heart cracks cleanly in two. “I’ll do anything to help you with Daisy⁠⁠—”

“You don’t get it,” Honey says sharply, sending a look down to her chest to check that Daisy is still asleep. When she sees that she is, she continues. “You’re not ‘helping me’ with Daisy. You are her father. You are my co-parent.”

His mouth goes dry at those words.

“And your husband,” he says, begging.

Honey gives him a dry look.

“You haven’t wanted to be my husband in a while, Mason.”

“Honey, please,” Mason actually folds his hands together in front of him. Honey keeps her eyes on his. “Please, let me fix this—let me fix us.”