Page 79 of The Golden Hour

Honey meets her mother’s eyes, and she realizes that Mason still thinks she’s going back to their house when they leave. She’s sure she told him she was going to her parents’ house, right? No, she didn’t have time to.

And when she decided to leave, well, that was when she collapsed.

She almost hates having to kill the hope in his hazel eyes, but she needs to do what’s best for Daisy.

And she doesn’t think she could go back into that house.

Her body shivers at the disjointed, fuzzy memories.

The blood. All that blood. Calling for her mommy before she fell. Her mother diving to soften the fall, putting her body between Honey and the ground and cutting her head open in the process. Her dad’s agonized bellow of her name. The EMTs lifting her. The fear. Daisy. Daisy. Daisy.

Then nothing until she woke up in a hospital bed. Empty.

Not only that, but that house—their first home—is tainted from her pregnancy. All she can think of is how lonely she was in that house, how sick and tired and in pain she was every single day.

That house became a vivarium of misery for Honey.

Her shivers climb to full-body shakes when she thinks about stepping back into it.

“I’m not going back into that house,” Honey whispers, shaking her head. “I can’t.”

Mason pales at her trembling voice, his brow furrows in confusion.

“Honey?”

“I’m not going back into that house,” Honey says, her voice stronger now even as it shakes around the edges. “There’s too much bad there, Mason.”

His entire expression falls at that, knowing exactly what her words mean.

“Honey, I know. I fucked up. I neglected you in that house, and every time I picture how alone you were, how sick you were, and how I treated you…” Mason chokes out, his face pinching as tears gather and fall. “I hate myself for it. I hate myself for treating you like that, for placing this hospital above you, but Honey, I will never put anyone before you or Daisy ever again.”

Honey bites down on the inside of her lip to keep from crying.

“I know my words don’t mean sh—” Mason winces lightly when he glances down at Daisy, like she can understand the word, and amends, “Don’t mean anything right now, so let me prove it with action. Come home. To our home, baby. Let me prove it to you.”

Honey is quiet for a long moment.

Melissa looks almost reluctantly impressed by Mason’s words, but there is no softness in her expression. Instead, she looks at Honey in support, not taking the reins, but letting Honey know she could if Honey needs her to.

But Honey needs to do this herself. No matter how uncomfortable she is with confrontation, with conflict, with standing up for herself, Honey needs to say it with her own voice.

“I cannot go back into that house, Mason,” Honey says, her voice firm. “I know you want to prove it to me, but I cannot heal there. It doesn’t feel like home anymore. It hasn’t in a while.”

Mason opens his mouth to speak.

Then closes it and nods.

“I understand.”

“You don’t understand,” Honey hisses, making Mason blink in shock.

She’s never spoken to him like this before, but these words just tumble out of her mouth unbidden, needing to be free. Needing to be heard.

“Because you sure as hell didn’t understand when I was throwing up in front of you,” she snaps, and the words make Mason flinch, but he doesn’t look away. “You didn’t understand because you were never there, Mason. And now you are here, and you’re making these promises and saying all these words. But you promised me before! You promised me you’d be here every step of the way for this pregnancy. I thought maybe we should wait until you were done with your residency, but you… you promised, Mason.”

The expression on Mason’s face is so deeply ashamed, it’s almost painful to look at.

Instead, she closes her eyes to take a few breaths, realizing she is getting worked up. She is letting anger drive her words, and she does not want to do that. Especially not with Mason holding Daisy in his arms. Her daughter does not deserve this chaos either.