Page 89 of The Golden Hour

“You need to focus on you too, Honey. On healing.”

Honey was quiet for a long time after that, until after she switched breasts for Daisy. When she spoke, her voice sounded so small and hopeful.

“I just want to be the best mother.”

“You already are,” Mason said. “You were the minute you decided to leave me to protect her.”

Honey blinked at him, reeling back slightly at his words.

She didn’t say anything after that, but the tense lines of her face softened. And that felt like a win.

It became routine for the next few days.

Mason abandoned sleeping in the guest room after the second time waking up from Daisy crying and just lay outside the room to be able to be there before Honey tried to get up out of bed.

Now he just brought Daisy to Honey in bed to feed, then he would take Daisy from Honey, change her diaper—sometimes hold her for a bit in the rocking chair as Honey slept, watching over both of his girls, just enjoying the peace.

Sometimes, when he was feeling really masochistic, he would close his eyes, hear his wife’s sleepy breaths, feel his daughter’s weight in his arms, and just pretend.

That they were home. That he went to every single appointment. He came home on time to Honey cooking, saw that she wasn’t feeling well and took over for her. That he rubbed her aching, swollen feet, that he held her hair back and got her water and peppermint when she threw up. That he had been a present husband and father.

And then he opened his eyes, and reality crashed back into him. The last time became so painful, he realized that he had to let go of that strange desire—where you know you can’t go back in time, but you hope if you think about it hard enough you can make it happen.

So, he lets it go. Not to absolve himself, but he can’t move forward by clinging to his faults of his past. They’re seared into his brain, he can’t ever forget them, but he can’t hold onto them any longer.

His mother and father have been over just about every day, each taking turns holding Daisy, cooing about their first grandchild with pride. Honey and Daisy have been surrounded by nothing but love, and that’s the way it will stay.

Honey firmly said that she would never bring Daisy to any provider affiliated with St. Mary’s when scheduling the appointment. The flash drive burned in his pocket when she said that, and he agreed easily. He wouldn’t trust the most precious girls in his life with that hospital ever again.

Honey leads the way in front of him, Daisy in her arms since she started fussing in the waiting room. She had already fed her before they left the house, so they knew she just wanted cuddles.

“Are you Swedish?” Honey asks.

“On my father’s side,” he replies.

The blonde doctor turns to glance over his shoulder to send Honey a smile, and his grip around the car seat’s handle tightens when his wife smiles back easily, beautifully, devastatingly.

Mason feels his stomach turn at the sight, jealousy that she hasn’t smiled at him like that in… he can’t even remember. Then guilt and shame because he hasn’t even given her a reason to smile like that in the last nine months.

“Dr. Sundström is kind of hard to pronounce for some,” he explains easily as he guides Honey and Mason back to an exam room. He chuckles, “So, when my nurses started calling me Dr. Adonis, it caught on with everyone.”

Mason’s lip curls.

Yeah, he’s sure that’s why everyone calls him Dr. Adonis. It has nothing to do with the way he looks like a fucking Calvin Klein model mixed with a Disney Prince.

“Your office is beautiful,” Honey gushes, gently rocking Daisy in her arms.

“Oh, thank you," Dr. Adonis says, his voice so earnest and genuine, coupled with the way he's looking at Honey, giving her his full attention, makes his teeth clench. “I really appreciate that, Honey.”

That charming grin is still on his face as he looks at Mason's wife.

Mason’s Honey.

Prick.

He leads them into an exam room, and even though he is so jealous he can barely see straight, he can’t help but appreciate how very adorable, very clean, and very bright it is.

It’s the perfect balance between sterile and softness. There are even cartoon animals hand-painted on the wall above the exam bed, a cute little bear family.