Page 9 of The Golden Hour

Daisy must feel her grandma because there are some fluttering kicks, like she’s happy. Marlene looks at Honey for permission, and when Honey nods, she lays her hand on her belly too.

Her parents—both sets—and Mason are the exception, but Honey hates it when random people come up to her in public and try to touch her belly.

Before the emergency room swallowed him whole, some random older couple had walked up to Honey at the grocery store and started touching her stomach like pregnancy made her a petting zoo. Honey, not one for confrontation, had frozen.

But her husband had lost it on them, stepping between her and their hands and invasive questions, telling them she was not a pet and that they should never touch his wife again.

That’s who Mason was, or used to be.

So protective, so sweet, so caring, so in tune with her and her feelings. He has not been that way in a while.

Honey’s eyes drift toward the door, anticipation building inside of her before she can stop it. She reminded him this morning as she handed him the lunch she’d prepared, and he pressed a kiss to her lips.

“Remember—”

“Baby shower,” Mason grinned. “I know, baby. I’ll be there. Promise.”

“Really?” Honey couldn’t help but ask. “You will?”

Mason frowned, slightly defensive and irritated now.

“I said I would, Honey.”

Honey opened her mouth and then bit back every retort that rose in her throat.

The anger.

You promise a lot and never keep them. You say things all the time and never follow through. You’ve missed more of this pregnancy than you’ve been a part of. You helped create this life; you don’t get to back out just because of your job. Why can’t you help me? I can’t do this alone. You were so devoted to our marriage. Why are you never around?

The dark.

What does the emergency room give you that I don’t? Are you having an affair? Do you still want me? Do you still find me attractive? Will you give me the opportunity to be attractive to you again one day? Am I too ugly and fat now? Are you disappointed in me? Do you still love me? What can I do to make you love me again?

And the worst one—the one she didn’t even want to admit to herself.

I don’t trust you, Mason.

Despite how miserable she’s feeling—physically and mentally—Honey genuinely enjoys the rest of her baby shower. She opens the most wonderful presents from her friends and family for Daisy. Adorable baskets filled with onesies, bottles, sweet little stuffed elephants, otters, and cats. Enough diapers to last until she’s potty trained. The expensive stroller she had put on the registry because her mother said someone would buy it, and then Marlene and Rob ended up buying it for her.

It’s a perfect party.

Near perfect, she corrects, glancing at the front door as the last of the guests leave her parents’ house.

Her dad and Mason’s dad had returned half an hour ago and were loading up their trucks to drive the gifts back to her house. If they had Mason’s large SUV, it would be extra help.

She sinks down on the couch and sighs at the pressure coming off her hips, rubbing a hand over her belly when Daisy flutters.

“You are so loved, Daisy,” Honey smiles. “Wait till you see all the gifts you received today. We are so lucky, little girl. You know that?”

Daisy kicks, making Honey laugh.

“I love you, Daisy. Your mommy loves you so much,” Honey smiles sadly, stroking the side of her stomach. “Your daddy does too. I know he does. He’s just… busy. It’s okay, though.”

She realizes she’s not really speaking to her daughter anymore. She’s speaking to herself. It’s just more soft little lies to make the disappointment easier to swallow.

The front door opens, and her heart jumps so hard it almost hurts. Hope wells inside of her as she snaps her head toward it, and for one bright, stupid second, she thinks maybe it’s him. He’ll see her, tell her she looks beautiful, kiss her forehead, apologize against her hair, and tonight they can go home, and she’ll show him all the presents their daughter is spoiled with.

He’ll smile softly at her like he used to, hold her in his lap, place a hand on her belly, and he’ll tell her how much he loves her and Daisy. That they’re his world. That he chooses them.