Page 32 of Starfighter’s Salvation

Gina leaned into my side and rested her head on my shoulder. As if that weren't bad enough, she reached over my lap and took my hands in her own. The touch woke every muscle in my body.

“You didn't have much choice.”

“There is always a choice.”

“Not really. If you’d tried to go after him, would Renn be alive?”

The question lodged beneath my ribs. “No.”

“Would the twelve survivors be alive?”

I did not answer.

“Corvan.”

“No.”

“Then you know you did the right thing.”

“Knowing does not change the outcome. I ordered him to return to the ship, not go back for the last survivor. He ignored me and he died because he refused to follow orders.”

"Did he know the place was falling apart? Did he know it was dangerous?” she asked softly.

"Of course he knew."

"Nothing you could have done. Sounds like he knew exactly what he was doing."

That was the first thing anyone had said to me about Callis that didn’t make me want to punch something. She didn’t tell me to forgive myself. She didn’t tell me it was bad luck, or fate, or any of that bullshit. I knew those things. What she didn't know was that I had spent the last few months imagining her in Renn's place. Wondering what I would do. What I might risk to save her, and whether or not she would forgive me for the choice I suspected I would make.

She reached up and cupped my cheek, her touch light. The mark at my nape answered — a pull toward her I felt in every cell.

“When we're out there, look at me. Don’t see him. I’m not Renn. I’m probably going to argue with you. So mentally prepare yourself now.”

“You will not argue with me.”

“We’ll see. Maybe I'll tell you off during our next practice sim. Get you used to it.”

“Georgina.” We were running one final practice run in the simulators later. The fighter pilots and communications teams would be participating as well. The absolute last thing I needed right now was Dekker listening in as my unclaimed mate argued with me during a mission.

She giggled like I'd just made her the happiest person on base. "Oh, big guy, you need to use my middle name if you're going to really make that warning stick. It's Renee."

"Why would I need another name for you? Your name is perfect. And stick to what?"

"If you're going to scold an Earth girl, you have to use all three of her given names, like our mothers used to when we were in trouble." She put her hands on her hips, lowered her voice and scowled at me as she barked orders. "Georgina Renee Reyes, you will stay put and never argue with me because I am in charge."

“That is not what I sound like.” I couldn't decide whether to be insulted at her mocking tone or laugh at how fucking adorable she looked with her face scrunched up in pure mischief.

“Do, too.”

"Do not."

"Do, too." She burst into laughter and I gave up trying to understand what was happening. All I knew was we were about to leave the safety of the moon base, fly into the most dangerous territory I'd been aware of in months, and the sparkle in her eyes made me want to forget all of it and just kiss her until she was too out of breath to argue with me.

Even that wouldn't be enough. I wanted to drag her out of this hangar, take her to my quarters and strip that new uniform off her perfect body. I'd keep her busy for days. We could order food delivered. She could resign from the Elite Starfighter ranks and just wait for me in bed every day like a safe little female should. Naked, preferably. Naked and smiling and never, ever in any fucking danger of any fucking kind.

With such thoughts circling in my mind, it appeared insanity was my new middle name. Or maybe, ridiculous? Selfish? Possessive? Overly protective? Fucking out of my mind with lust and the need to keep her at my side? There weren't enough labels for the clusterfuck that was going on inside me at the thought of her in danger. Worst of all, there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it except go with her. Because if I tried to keep her out of the fight, some asshole like Dekker would throw her right back into the war with General Aryk's blessing.

I couldn't protect her and it was fucking killing me.