Page 72 of Heart of the Raven Prince

She takes a slow, shaking inhale as she glares at the empty air in front of her before she whispers, “Are you going to come down here or should I keep pretending I don’t know you’re there?”

Flicking the burnt-out cigarette away from me, I shove my hands in my pockets and step off the edge of the roof, landing lightly in front of her. Anger rolls off her, her cheeks bright with embarrassment, and I have to hold myself back from going after that man, Bryan, and cracking my fist against his chin until it breaks. But she does not need me to fight her battles for her, and a quiet, ugly voice whispers that she does not want me to.

“If you’re going to follow me you might as well do me the courtesy of not assuming I’m stupid enough to not sense it,” she snaps, storming down the alley and away from the store. I keep pace with her, which only seems to infuriate her more and she hurries up.

“You made it fairly fucking clear you don’t want to be seen with me,” I say, my words clipped.

“What I want when it comes to you doesn’t matter,” she mutters.

I would call her anger misplaced, but I’ve given her plenty of reasons to be furious with me. Storming in front of her, I stop, blocking her path.

“And what do you want with me, Fawn?”

“I want you to move,” she grunts. I ignore her, only narrowing my eyes. I can’t stop myself from thinking of her lips, how she tasted, how she reached for me. Because she did reach for me. No matter what she said to Bryan, she cannot deny the way her body responds to mine. When I remain in front of her, she attempts to walk by me, and I easily shift to block her path. “Move, Caden.”

She shoves me in the chest, attempting to push by me, but instead I snatch her hand and pull her closer, my arm snaking around her waist and holding her firmly against me. I draw a gasp of surprise from her lips.

Fuck, I want her to make that noise again.

“Lie to that prick of a man all you want, Oisín, but you cannot lie to me,” I say. Letting go of her, I curl my hand in her hair, guiding her head up so that she cannot avoid my gaze. “Did I finally shock you into silence?” I croon, my hand dipping lower and grazing the top of her perfect ass. “Well, allow me to use this rare moment of quiet to tell you exactly what I want with you.”

Her lust for you is purely carnal. Nothing more.

I skip a beat, quickly swallowing the words I was about to speak to her. The ones that would reveal far too much of how I truly feel. That whispering voice is right, she could never want anything in me, not anything real. I want to tell her so much more…but I can’t. Not when I know that she does not—cannot—feel that way for me.

But I can tell her what I desire.

“I want to rip those clothes off you and burn them for the offense of ever hiding your body from me. I want to take you back to my bed and bury my cock so deep inside of you that I am the only thing you think of. I want to know what it sounds like when you come. What it feels like when you unravel beneath me.” She’s panting, desperate little sounds escaping her as I move, placing my lips directly beside her ear and whispering, “And you want that too, Oisín. I think you’re just too scared to admit it.”

“What I want, Caden…” she says. I’m so overwhelmed by the smell of her, that I don’t fully hear the sorrow in her voice until she says, “I want to free my people. Nothing outside of that matters. Now, please, let me go.”

She is utterly still in my arms. If I had a heart it would break. When I slowly pull back, she will not look me in the eyes. It has been easy these last few days in her presence to ignore the voice of that demon, the one that has been in my ear since the moment I betrayed my family. I have relegated him to the back of my mind, but now he laughs, his wicked voice filling my head.

She does not want you. You are a monster. You are better off dead. You are only a weapon, an attack dog that deserves to be put down.

Dropping my hands, she quickly takes several steps out of my arms, darts around me, and walks swiftly away. It is a mistake, spending as much time around humans as I have. They make me forget what I am. She makes me forget. She makes me feel like I am not so entirely worthless, and I don’t deserve to ever feel that way. Ignoring the pounding ache in my empty chest, I trail behind her as that demon laughs, and laughs.

Worthless. Worthless. Worthless.

I couldn’t agree more.

Water sluices off me as I step out of the bath. Caden healed my beaten and broken body, but my muscles were still tense with lingering fear and anxiety, and I couldn’t relax enough to sleep. After that disastrous encounter with Bryan and then Caden swooping in to make everything ten times worse, I haven’t been able to get my mind to slow. Even as we walked back to his apartment, and he left me alone in the hallway, I was a bundle of frayed nerves and hopeless feelings. I tried to ignore them all, holding myself together so tightly that nothing could possibly make me crumble.

In the end, it didn’t matter. I’m shattered anyway.

I didn’t think my feet could ever feel quite this heavy as I trudge from the bathroom, a towel wrapped tightly around me, and pad across the hall. A vague, distant part of my mind tries to think of when Caden caught me earlier in a similar situation. But there is no heat there, no real effort. Besides, what good is there in fantasizing about the way Caden looks at me? It is undeniable that he desires me physically. He told me as much when he pulled me against him, whispering wicked, sinful things into my ear. Telling me everything I secretly wanted him to say. He wants me.

Only my body.

It shouldn’t surprise me that a vampire craves only flesh, but the hurt didn’t stab any less. I was so sure he was about to confess more, so stupidly assured that he actually desired my mind, and my soul, and not simply my blood.

Shutting the door behind me, I let the towel drop as I walk sullenly toward the wardrobe. My haggard eyes stare mindlessly at the clothes before me as I stand naked in the cold, dark room. Numbly I grab a silk nightgown and tug it over my head. In the stillness of the room, thoughts creep in, and I do nothing to stop them.

His gaze burning a trail over my skin. His hands on me. His lips brushing mine. Every tentative touch, every wickedly whispered phrase repeats in my mind, and it begins to enrage me. What is the point of giving him more of me? This ends in heartache. We end in heartache. If he wants to ignore that and still desire my body anyway?

Fine.

Turning from the wardrobe, I march out of my room. I pause momentarily in the hallway, before I focus on the familiar trace of his power and follow it. It leads me up a flight of stairs, and down an extensive hallway. The path is long enough that it gives me plenty of time to fume, plenty of time to rethink. I could turn back now and head to my room, it would be wiser to not complicate things between us.