Page 117 of The Irresistible Distraction

“Come on,” I say.

“Really?” my son asks.

And . . . because apparently that’s a thing you can get in California, a same-day wedding license, especially if you know exactly what the requirements are and have a network of lawyers and judges up your sleeve, that is when we marry.

Brody tells me I have a history of overthinking and he has a track record of screwing up engagements (even though I only know of the one), and thus it’ll be better for everyone if we just marry now.

He argues that we can get to know each other on the honeymoon—which is delayed until he sees through the terms of our agreement.

Tyler gets ordained through a last-minute online website.

On my side, Vera promises to participate via Zoom (even though it’s four in the morning in Italy), and of course Maggie will serve as my maid of honor, wrapping Angelina Alessandra in a mini bridesmaid dress that’s too cute to have been made.

Sebastian will be the one who gives me away—which, in this case, will just mean walking the short few steps between his bedroom and our living room.

Two of Brody’s college friends—Lucas Murray and a very, very pregnant Lorelai Zhao—also come. Lucas is as handsome as the online Forbes pictures advertised, but he looks harassed, muttering something about how Lorelai shouldn’t be traveling in her current condition and that no one ever asks for his opinion.

“We asked,” Lorelai reminds her husband.

“Then apparently my opinion just doesn’t matter, since I clearly voted that we not come. We went to the last one.” He turns to Brody.

“One, you’re welcome, since the two of you would have definitely dragged out the whole reuniting thing without my Hawaiian unwedding. And two, yeah, I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to tell Lorelai—it’s not my fault Seba spilled the beans.”

We all turn to Seba, but since no one wants to blame him, the powerful CEO turns back to his friend. “Sorry. But it feels like maybe, given Lorelai’s delicate condition, you could have come to us.”

“Did you really just call Lorelai delicate?” Brody asks.

Just as Lorelai hisses, “Did you really just call me delicate?”

Lucas sighs, allowing Lorelai (who has the serene look of a well-loved woman, one willing to tolerate her husband’s fussing because she understands what underlies it all) to punch him lightly in the arm.

Afterward, Lucas and Lorelai gift Brody and me (but mostly Brody) a beautiful Vixen Optics AXD2-VMC360L telescope (a name I only know because Brody breathes out the entire stream of nonsense while holding it reverently, muttering something about how it’s not supposed to be available for purchase yet). Brody’s face, however, quickly transforms from grin to scowl when he sees the very large inscription: From Team Lorass to Team BS.

Confused, I turn to Lucas. “How did you get it engraved so quickly?”

Lucas turns to Lorelai and they share a secret smile. “I ordered it two weeks ago. I was suspicious when Brody suddenly wanted Lorelai to tutor your son, someone he barely knew. He’s normally pretty protective of his friends.”

“Also, Seba dropped a few clues I was able to connect,” Lorelai adds. “So I texted Brody to . . . probe a little.”

Lucas seamlessly finishes the story. “And then Brody texted us both to say he’d found his penguin.”

I’m perhaps more confused than when we started this conversation, but Brody presses a kiss to my forehead and whispers, “Soulmate penguin. I’ll explain another time.”

Later, while everyone is enjoying the cookies and popcorn that comprise our wedding banquet, Brody pulls me to the side and whispers, “I’ll pay for a bigger second wedding, a grand reception, as soon as I win this bet.”

I laugh against Brody’s lip as I kiss him. “You are my ideal mate, my first choice partner in every sense of the word. Everyone who matters to me is here, which means this is already as perfect as it can ever be.”

And I mean it.

EPILOGUE: THREE YEARS LATER

“But. Caltech.”

I sigh. Brody has been very . . . Brody throughout Seba’s college application process: Opinionated. Loud. Aggressively boundary-pushing.

“Maybe eventually, as a transfer,” my now almost-fourteen-year-old son says calmly, because he has no trouble standing up to or arguing with his stepfather. “But I like the idea of community college, BD.” Of all the many things I’ve loved about my time with Brody, watching the relationship between Brody and Seba develop might be my favorite. At least top three. Sebastian spent weeks (likely months, considering he often waits to tell me these things) wrestling with what he wanted to call my husband, who was increasingly more of a father to him than Jesse had ever been. Sebastian was the one who came up with BD: Bonus Dad, which sounds close enough to Brody most people don’t even realize it’s a nickname.

Brody cried when Sebastian suggested it, speechless as he embraced my son.