Page 52 of The Irresistible Distraction

“Still not sure how I agreed to that, or even what it is. Also, the dogs⁠—”

“I walked them earlier and am letting them roam in the backyard because Nate’s allergic. And I texted you the details about the extra credit—quick tour of a mission, small write-up afterward.”

“That doesn’t sound like it needs to be an overnight trip.”

“It doesn’t need to be, but it gets to be. It wasn’t easy to convince your child he wanted the extra credit . . .”

I look away to hide my flare of gratitude, blinking my eyes because there is also . . . a frisson of guilt. In one week, Brody’s made more progress with Sebastian than I have in years. “All that time arguing about basketball or track, when really all I needed to do was order pizza and buy an expensive gaming system.”

“Don’t do that. I’m the Sexy Tourist. I’m fun and novel and also gave some very sound legal advice for free. This isn’t a competition, and also, even if it was, I’m used to finding angles. Let this be a good thing.”

Brody’s voice is calm and gentle even as I’m blinking, furiously, fighting to maintain composure. “It is a good thing, right?” I watch as Sebastian jokes with Nate. I can tell my son’s voice is just a tad too loud, something only someone who really knows him could detect, and yes, Sebastian’s clearly anxious, but it feels like a good kind of nervous energy.

A moment later, Aidan lifts a hand to high-five Sebastian, and the shy smile that suffuses his face is almost painful to witness.

“How does Sebastian even know how to play?”

“It’s Counter-Strike 2, which, not to brag, is one of my many skills. It actually arrived yesterday, and I set it up after our move. This morning, I let him do an abbreviated run before school so I could give him a jump start. Plus, your kid’s a quick learner.”

This is what Sebastian’s been missing, when I allowed him to skip all those grades, when Jesse left it to me and made me choose between what Sebastian said he wanted and the social costs I just didn’t know how to address. This is what I wish I could have given Sebastian and what I know I’ve struggled to provide because I’m always too busy to do the social networking and text messaging, the bridge-building that happens within the moms with partners, or at least the moms who have enough work-life balance to . . . have a life.

My voice is soft and thick with emotion as I answer, “Thank you, Brody.”

“Go bathe.” Brody’s still not looking at me, but his soft voice is a soothing caress. “Give yourself a break. Everything’s going to be okay.”

15

YOU AREN’T SCARED OF SPIDERS

Itake a long bath, using one of the bath bombs Maggie gave me for Christmas. It is, truthfully, a disappointment. I don’t know what I expected, exactly, but I guess I thought something with the word bomb in it would have . . . done more? Released glitter? Maybe a unicorn?

Still, enjoying a leisurely bath and being able to fixate on things like whether the seven-month-old present I’m finally using is a letdown is . . . a privilege.

I don’t remember the last time I felt this relaxed or carefree.

Months, maybe. When Maggie and Tyler took Sebastian to the beach for the day back in March, when the snow finally melted? Or when Jesse took Sebastian for three days during spring break, which would have been April, because nothing lined up in May or June.

I’m about to get out of the bath so I can check that everything’s still okay when Brody texts me a picture: Sebastian’s grinning and high-fiving Nate, while Aidan’s in the background, grinning at my son.

In case I’m slow, he adds instructions: Stay in your bath. Get pruny with it.

I smile and add water, closing my eyes. The water is borderline tepid, but knowing Sebastian is happy and safe? Blissful.

After, I spend far too much time trying to decide how to dress. It’s just pizza with the guys, but also, it’ll be only the second time Brody has seen me out of my diner uniform. Our first and only date . . . and then the baggy everything I put on when I thought it would just be me and Vera.

I try on two pairs of jeans before realizing they both look loose—hanging on my frame in a way that suggests I have no curves—before I decide on a plain cotton wrap dress, which is hopefully casual enough to fly under the radar, even with the earrings I put on at the last minute, simple hoops I rarely allow myself time for.

The boys are already sitting around the dining table eating pizza by the time I knock. Maybe it’s peer pressure, maybe it’s just that we don’t normally eat pizza and wings, but I can tell from the number of bones that Seba has . . . eaten well. They’re laughing and joking when Aidan turns to Brody and asks, “So how long are you staying for?”

“At least through the summer.”

“You should bring Sebastian, then, on the camping trip next weekend.”

I pause mid-bite. What camping trip?

At the frozen tableau in front of him, Nate explains. “We invited Sebastian a month ago, but he said his dad couldn’t come.”

Sebastian looks down at the pizza, as if afraid to make eye contact. This is news to me. “Dad has a conference. And it’s after Maggie’s due date, so I figured you’d be busy.”