Page 43 of Whispers From The Dark

“Take away men’s microphones!” her friend shouts, and the two women take their drinks from Danny before flouncing off to a high-top table in the corner.

The Joe Rogan wannabe blinks and rubs at his eyes, and I’m even more certain that he belongs to Satanus.

“Fuck you,” he shouts, and I can’t tell if he’s talking to me or the women, but it doesn’t matter. I grab him by the collar and pull him to his feet.

“Out,” I repeat, but he takes a swing at me and stumbles. I lose grasp on his shirt, and he falls backward into the person sitting beside him.

“Fuck,” Danny says, and we both watch in horror as the bystander’s fork goes through their lip. I rush to grab the asshole once more, and it’s bedlam.

The woman sitting on the other side of the man with the now injured lip stands up, screaming bloody murder. I recognize her as one of our regular sex workers, and I know for a fact that she stays armed. Joanie isn’t supposed to bring it into the bar with her, but we tend to give her a lot of leeway because of her profession. She’s scrambling for her bag, and I will it to fly across the room, but with that comes its own problems, as a strap-on flies out of it and lands on someone’s plate.

“What the fuck?” shouts one of our regulars who has a temper with or without Satanus.

“Fucking heaven and hell,” I murmur before hitting the lights.

Everything is pitch-dark, and Danny starts spraying everyone with the water gun behind the bar. This isn’t even the worst altercation that has gone down in the past week. It’s a comedy of errors, of bullshit, of exhaustion, and I’m tired.

By this point, Not Joe Rogan is raining punches down on my back, and I grunt when he hits me in the side.

“Dude, watch my organs! I swear to god if you get me shanked⁠—”

“I said be quiet, Sam.”

With the lights off, no one can see what’s happening. Joanie is in her seat again, with her mouth sealed shut. Her probable client, who has been wailing at the bar, afraid to pull the utensil from his flesh, gasps in pain as I flick my wrist and remove it for him. Napkins go flying at his face, and he has the sense to grab them and staunch the bleeding.

I whisk the strap-on back into Joanie’s bag, and it flies into her lap.

All that’s left is the podcast bro who has now lost his hat in our scuffle. He claws at Sam, who stays silent but is very sullen about the situation, and I drag him by the ear all the way to the front door.

Pushing him outside into the fading day, I pin him against the wall. I let my eyes flash black as my hand wraps around his throat.

“Remind Satanus of his first wife. Ask him whose name she died screaming. Ask him if it’s worth it.”

This man surprises me when his eyes flash white, and his lips tug up into a grin. I should have known he’d bring himself to my bar, eventually.

“You did me a favor with that whore, brother.”

“What do you want?” I grit out.

He laughs, rolling his eyes. “Do you think I care so much about a common mortal to go to this length? I merely come to pester you. It took you long enough to engage.” I glare at him, and he shrugs. “I’m bored. It’s all men lately. Men compensating for their absent hairlines and disappointing genitalia. Men with money and power who want more of it. It’s so…banal. I miss the days before forensics existed. Do you know I haven’t come across a woman poisoning anyone in nearly eight months? I need variety, and I’d hoped your mortal would give it to me.”

She’s not mine anymore, I think.

“Not with that attitude,” Sam says, and I tuck him away into the corner of his mind like I should have done the moment I inhabited him.

“Her mother was full of wrath. Why didn’t you settle for her?”

Satanus yawns, and I drop my hand from his throat. He’s nearly a foot shorter than Sam, so I step back so I can see him without staring down my nose.

“True. With therapy being so popular now, the abusive alcoholics are declining. I should have savored her. But even her flavor of rage bores me now.” He sighs. “Perhaps I’ll go home and dine on some of the greats. They keep for so long down there in the cold.”

I take a step back, surprised to be done with this so easily, but still cautious. Satanus is just like his twin brother but without the restraint. He’s unpredictable.

“Well, I have plans with Mephi tonight, if you’d like to join us. You seem lonely,” Satanus says, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“I’m fine.”

“When’s the last time you buried yourself in someone, Az? We all feel it when you’re celibate, you know. Go get laid. For the rest of us. For the world. For the continuance of mankind.”