Page 37 of Teddy Bear

For some reason, I can't stand her or her sweet look; everything about her is too soft, too feminine, too sweet.

-Hello.

She finally speaks, in a voice that sounds like birds chirping, and I can't take my lost gaze away from her fat ankles and forearms. Her complexion is slightly tanned, contrasting with her golden hair.

-Are you lost?

Her caring question makes the hairs on my arms stand on end, and my blood boils at such a rate that I fear I will explode.

I feel like I could jump on her, right here and now, completely shredding every bit of her adorable body, venting the too-long pent-up anger.

The moment I try to say something, Danny appears right behind her.

-Lizzie!

He speaks, feigning delight, with obvious confusion and distance in his voice.

I watch him blankly, almost numb; the blue of his eyes is now an arctic ocean into which I willingly jump, wanting to freeze and sink to the bottom like a huge and heavy iceberg.

-Where are you doing here?

I'm much more dead than alive; now I'm quite sure of that. I push my nails harder into the already torn flesh of my palms, clenching my fists, listening to his voice that seems to come through an echo from another dimension where absolutely everything is upside down.

-This is Olivia, my fiancée. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but there just wasn't an opportunity. We met in Europe and have been together for three years; we are getting married in April.

I am a corpse, and my body is rotting full of broken gray capillaries and blue protruding veins, bruises are forming under my dead white skin, the only sign of life is the bright red blood that is now pouring down my clenched fists even more abundantly, soaking Danny's youthful wooden threshold of the house of our hidden, broken love, I am disintegrating there, at this moment, disappearing, surrendering to the abyss, if he even wants to take me.

I can't get a word out.

-Lizzie, are you okay?

With stiff eyes and a newly petrified, numb body, without a trace of life, I watch as Danny gently kisses Olivia's golden, princess-like hair, then whispers something in her ear.

She pulls back, and he steps out onto the wooden threshold with me, closing the door behind him.

- Lizzie, what's going on? Talk to me.

I cannot speak, because if I open my mouth, all that will come out of me is a scream that will deafen and tear the entire globe. I am a stone. I am ice. I'm dead Teddy with gouged-out eyes, and I can't look for a second longer.

My hand clings to the wooden pillar of the house, leaving a trail of blood on the shiny, varnished wood. Darkness covers my eyes for a moment, and I stumble forward into the nothingness that embraces me.

Danny catches me and takes me in his arms. He carries me to his car; I'm so tired that everything is too dark to see.

All strength drained from my body. I don't know anything; I just surrender.

This is the end.

I hear the sound of the engine and then close my eyes completely. I'm sinking; it doesn't matter where, there's nothing left for me here anyway.

I surrender to an easy and peaceful sleep that takes me whole. I sink; the transition is easy, almost natural. I fall into the darkness that embraces me with its cold arms.

I'm home now.

I am sleeping; there is peace and tranquility all around me. There is nothing left: neither Danny, nor my father, nor my mother's choked neck, nor Olivia's feminine voice; there is nothing left, and it is the best that way.

When I wake up, the bright lights of the city blind my pupils and the noise of traffic, sirens and the wheels of nervous drivers rips my ears, causing a severe headache.

Danny's eyes watch me intently in the mirror.