Page 4 of Teddy Bear

Oh, but let's face it, you enjoy this as much as I do, and I guess that's the only reason you're doing this.

-But luckily for you, the doctor is very kind today. Now show me you're still my good girl. Close your eyes. Just listen to my voice. Get ready for the journey, Lizzie, and I'll be your guide.

I take a deep breath; suddenly, everything is calmer. Now I'm just a passenger who lets herself be carried somewhere far away by a magical ship, or a roaring train faster than lightning.

-One.

Danny is my brave captain steering the cracked ship of my mind, the broken, torn planks of the ship filling with water at an unstoppable rate; he is both the anchor and the beacon and the rudder that now steers my consciousness.

-Two.

Now I am only freedom, only body, given up and easy, with a mind that can conquer infinity.

If he's leading me, really, I'm ready to go anywhere, with a return or non-return ticket, while his voice is deep in my ears, in my deviant brain; it doesn't matter to me in the least.

-Three.

My heart speeds up a little; I feel it as a vague sensation inside my chest that swells, rises and falls faster and faster.

Suddenly I hear a noise, a soft noise indicating that we are now on the other side.

✦ 🧸 ✦

I move cautiously away from the glass, and then I am delighted to observe how the softened, rubbery, white walls turn pink. This will never cease to amaze and

fascinates me.

Smooth transition from one world to another, just like it's the easiest thing in the world.

A slight transition from consciousness, rationality, and the real mind into the depth of the subconscious, into a hypnotized labyrinth, without a real end or beginning.

Into hallways full of drafts and windows, doors and passages that really don't open.

Danny's calm voice reaches me through the speakers as he watches me intently through the cameras.

-You're safe now.

The most beautiful voice I have ever heard in my life tells me that I am safe. It is the voice of the man I love, my refuge, my safe haven. Now, all is finally good. I can roam, I can explore, I'm bottomless, there's no reason to fear, because he'll gently bring me back - if things go wrong.

Oh, and things often go wrong with me.

Fortunately, the doc is here, to be my bitter medicine and salvation.

My eyes twinkle as they follow the thousands of light, white, brightly glowing fireflies now fluttering around the room. I am enraptured watching their enchanting dance.

Neon, soft pink, flickers before my eyes like a sweet mist; cotton candy-like threads are everywhere in front of me, and the tiny bodies of insects illuminate the room that has now gone from a bright LED light to a subdued semi-darkness.

In the middle of the room is a huge stage, dull purple, lit with neon lights, filled with mirrors; the colors are vivid, beautiful, bright. I watch it glow in the dark along with the seductive background music.

I approach and look at the mirrors in front of me, tall, long mirrors without reflection. I don't see myself in them. I wonder if that is good? I guess it is, because here, in the complete darkness of my consciousness, I would be afraid of my reflection.

I close my eyes and take off my hospital clothes in a few movements. Maybe it's not hospital clothes anymore, but some beautiful, flowing dress that I wore, just like a real beauty, a real princess, just like her, her, her...

Danny ordered me to take off my hospital clothes and put them neatly to the side.

I'm having a bit of a break here, and I'm using all my strength to force myself not to think about her. She is worthless to spoil such a beautiful evening. I don't want her in my consciousness, in my hypnosis, in this little time that is only ours, his and mine; I don't want her to destroy the little freedom I have.

I don't want to watch as I butcher and strangle her again and again in the ecstasy of my madness, killing her lifeless, plain, boring face until I've drained it of every last drop of blood.