Page 64 of Bloom in Darkness

"Yeah." I keep my hand moving over his calf.

Astra looks from me to Caelan, cheeks darkening. "Is it weird that I don't want you to fuck me?"

Caelan pauses with his fingers still threaded through Astra’s hair while I keep rubbing his calf.

"Not like this," Astra continues. "I'm so hot and I'm slicking like crazy, but I don't want either of you inside me when my head feels like this. I just want..." He looks down at where he is sprawled across me. "This."

"Then this is what you get," I tell him, and Caelan leans in to kiss the corner of his mouth while Astra settles more fully across me.

Astra lets his head fall back onto my shoulder. "Okay."

Sometime after midnight, Astra stops sweating through my shirt and asks me to pull the blanket up to his waist. The slick slows down too. Caelan removes the cooling pack from behind his neck and replaces it with a dry towel.

"I think you've checked me enough for one night," Astra mutters.

Caelan reaches for the water. "You scared the shit out of us tonight."

Astra rubs one hand over his face without looking up. "I know. I did this."

"Nobody slipped me anything," Astra says. "Sabine didn't dose me. Silas didn't touch me. Rourke wasn't even there that I saw. I kept taking the Bloom because I wanted to get through the shift."

"That doesn't make what Sabine did okay," Caelan says.

"I know. I just don't want you thinking I was drugged." Astra looks at me. "I knew I should call you. That's the worst part. I thought about it before I opened the jar the first time tonight."

My hand stills against his back. "Why didn’t you?"

He stares at the blanket over his legs. "Because I was tired and stupid."

I rub my palm between his shoulder blades. "You were tired. You weren't stupid." Astra stays quiet for a few seconds before sighing and resting his cheek against my chest again.

"Because you were both working. Because I keep showing up at the Forge half dead and falling asleep on you. Because I already feel like half my week is you two rearranging things around me." His fingers pick at the edge of my shirt. "The jar was right there. Calling felt like asking for more."

"I know," Astra says. "Sunday. We literally talked about this Sunday."

"You call," I say, dragging my palm down his back once. "We pick up."

"Even if I just want to be scented?" he asks.

"Especially then," I tell him, and Astra turns toward Caelan for the answer he already knows is coming.

Caelan nods. "Especially before you're backstage rubbing on more because the first dose didn't get you through the shift."

Astra closes his eyes. "By the time Lio asked how much I'd taken, I couldn't remember every time I'd opened the jar."

The sour edge creeps back into Astra’s scent as he says, "Then Sabine said Silas and Rourke wanted me, and all I could think about was getting put in a room while I couldn't even keep my timing straight onstage."

Astra shifts against me. "Nobody hurt me," he says, more firmly this time. "I need both of you to hear that. I got away before anybody touched me."

I press my mouth to his hair. "We hear you."

"I still scared the shit out of you." Astra looks up at me and waits.

"Yeah," I tell him. "You scared me and you called. Both things can be true."

Astra swallows hard, and Caelan reaches over to take the hand resting on my chest.

Astra closes his eyes. A few minutes later, they open again and he stares at Caelan's hand where it is still wrapped around his.