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“Really…why?”

“That initial happy feeling…being able to do something so BIG for Mum? I think part of me hoped it might dissolve my guilt for good, but it didn’t. On some level, I needed another hit of ‘Well done, son!’ My therapist said that’s why I didn’t even consider saying no to anything Wink was putting in front of me. I desperately needed the praise that new projects, new press might get me. I’m basically a praise junkie, chasing jobs non-stop to feel better about myself. The bigger the project, the bigger the audience; the bigger the audience, the more approval; the more approval, the easier it is for me to bury my guilt—for a while, anyway…”

Alex sat wide-eyed. “God, Mark…he’s good.”

He nodded. “I’m not trying to make excuses or place the blame on my sub-conscious, but all those weeks spent away from home, looking for approval…” He hesitated, avoiding her eyes. “It was at the expense of what really mattered, the people I cared about, especially you, Lex.” He looked up to meet her eyes.

A breath caught in her throat.

“So…” He squeezed her hand. “There you have it: Mark Keegan is damaged goods—but you have to name the problem to make it better, right?” A sheepish grin flashed across his face. “And I am making it better. That’s why I fired Wink and Chelsey, why I dropped out of Throttle. That’s why I’m continuing with counselling—to find healthy ways to deal with my guilt and grief. It’s also why I’m here…to come clean, and to apologize, and to thank you. You saw me pushing myself too hard. You tried to save me—”

“I was worried you’d work yourself to death. I just wanted a balanced life for us.”

“But I wouldn’t listen, would I? I was an arse, making you feel like you were being difficult. I am so so sorry. I was wrong, not you, and I know what I have to do now—what I want to do, and it’s not working twenty-hour days or a budget-bloated action film with a shite script. I want my privacy back. I want a balance between work and my personal life. From now on, I’m taking time off—weeks, not days—between projects. I’ll continue with Lairds for as long as they’ll have me, and supplement that with what I love.”

The old Mark, the one Alex had met in the Royal Court lobby…he wasn’t gone. He was here. Adorable, caring…honest Mark. A smile overtook her freckles. “Theatre, maybe? Like Constellations?”

“Yeah, like Constellations.” Mark smiled back. “I did that one for you, Lex.”

“I heard…” She tossed her bangs out of her eyes. “I saw it, you know.”

“I know.”

“Freddie?”

Mark chuckled. “Yeah.”

She glanced at her hand, happily held in his. “I kinda stumbled upon it one day.”

“I planned to tell you about it on our anniversary. When that didn’t happen, I almost told you when you were breaking up with me, but it was already…too late.”

Mark shoved up the brim of his ball cap, exposing his eyebrows. Alex realized just how much she had missed them. She nodded, pensively. “You made me cry—I mean, your portrayal of Roland made me cry. You were him.”

Mark smiled.

Alex looked away. “Did Fallon know…about Kieran?”

He shook his head. “I never told her about letting him out of my sight, no. Nobody knows, outside of my family. As far as the final police reports were concerned, Dad left two kids unattended for a few moments and tragedy struck.”

Sitting in silence, their eyes met.

“Fallon never really knew me…not like you did, Lex.”

And no one knows me like you do, Mark. Alex grinned softly into the passing breeze.

Mark let go of her hand and shifted. His knee collided with hers, but instead of moving it away, he kept it there. “I’m sorry it took me so long to introduce you to Mum.”

“It’s okay.” She reached over, squeezing his hand. “I think I understand now…”

“No.” He shook his head, rubbing his thumb over hers. “I felt terrible, keeping you apart. Mum’s birthday seemed like the perfect opportunity to right a wrong, and the focus would be on the posh new bungalow. Everyone would be happy. I made Mum and Gracie swear not to say anything about Kieran, though. I still wasn’t ready to tell you what happened…I was still too ashamed, I think. Part of me hated…erasing him from the day, but I did it anyway—for self-preservation.”

“Then, I spotted his name—”

“Yeah. I didn’t think. You were so upset about the key. I had to show it to you, so you would stop blaming yourself, but then you flipped the keychain over. I swear my heart stopped. I panicked—lied. I’m so sorry. I should have been honest that day. I hate myself for lying to you about…everything.”

Alex exhaled slowly, staring at the light bouncing off the pond. “I can’t judge you, Mark, not after what you’ve been through. I mean, I wish you’d felt like you could trust me with this when we were together. I wish you’d just told me and hadn’t thought I would judge you, but I understand why you didn’t. I’m glad you felt ready to tell me, even if it’s later rather than sooner…” She looked into his eyes. “…but why now?”

“August 17th” He gazed up into the cloudless sky. “Today would have been Kieran’s twenty-first birthday.”