Page 167
“Okay, cool.” She glanced at the orange and yellow tickets, spotting ‘Reading Stations’ in a smudged computerized font.
Leaving their overheated train carriage, the midafternoon sunshine was no match for the biting wind and plunging temperature outside. Riley shivered and fought with her parka’s stubborn zipper as she copied Ben’s long strides, hurrying across the station courtyard. She yanked sharply on the zipper’s pull and lost her return ticket to the crisp March breeze.
“Shit!” She chased after it, leaving Ben alone at the station’s taxi line.
“Riley, it’s okay…I’ll buy another.” Ben pressed his lips tight and leaned into the open front window of a black cab, giving the driver their destination. He reached for the door’s handle as Riley returned, shaking her head.
“Sorry, I’m such a klutz.”
She’s nervous. She’s not the only one. He opened the door, letting her climb in first.
The driver joined the Saturday afternoon traffic and left central Reading. Neither Ben nor Riley spoke. Ben fidgeted with the knotted leather bracelet on his right wrist, the healed fracture aching from the damp. Riley watched town center businesses, narrow streets, and small terrace houses morph into suburban shopping plazas, tree-lined roads, and large semi-detached homes.
“Oh.” Ben sat up suddenly, leaning toward the opening in the clear partition separating the cabbie from his passengers. “Mate, can we stop here?” He turned to Riley. “Won’t be a minute.”
The cab pulled into a gas station and Ben dashed out the door, picking up several skinny bouquets of daisies from a bucket outside the kiosk. While he paid, Riley reapplied her lipstick and pulled her hair into a neat ponytail, still unsure where they were headed.
Jeez, could they look any cheaper? Ben hopped back in the taxi, handing Riley two modest bunches. “Just a little…something.”
“They’re pretty.” A sweet happiness brightened her face, erasing her confused pout. “Thank you.”
Shit petrol station flowers, no proper kisses—this is the most awkward reunion ever, and it’s not her fault…it’s all on me. Heart pounding through his chest, Ben shook his head, his hand clasping two identical bouquets. I wish we could do this over—do it all over. He pulled his phone from the pocket of his vest.
Riley’s eyes fell to the cellophane-wrapped flowers crinkling in his hand. “Who are those for?”
2:45 P.M. We’re good for time. He stuffed his phone back in his vest. “My mum.”
“Your mom?!” Eyebrows raised, Riley’s grin grew and nudged her voice up almost an octave. “Oh! I was hoping we might be going there!”
Ben slumped against the window, his eyes darting from one impressive detached home to another, their mature leafless trees guarding the upscale road. I wish we were going anywhere but there.
Watching the increasingly luxurious houses fly past, Riley took in her jeans, old parka, and worn sneakers. A self-deprecating chuckle slipped into a whisper. “I wish I’d dressed up—” She frowned and dove into her tote, her fingers finding something that reunited her cheeks with her smile. “Oh, I totally forgot…”
“Forgot?” Ben glanced over as Riley pulled out a plastic bag…with flats. She set the shoes down on the cab’s floor.
“I usually leave these under my desk at work, but I’m so new there, it felt…oh, I dunno…” Nervously rambling, she bent down, tugging off her socks and sneakers. “I forgot they were in here. At least I’ll look a little more presentable now.”
“You look fine, Riley, really, you don’t need to…” Ben pulled off his wool hat, dumped it in his half-zipped backpack, and patted down his hair, but it stubbornly flicked up again. His hand skidded across his forehead as the taxi drove through a set of stone gates and down a long driveway. Shit. I’m burning up.
Leaning over, Riley’s head hovered at her knees. “I hope I look fine!” She slipped her bare feet into the flats and rubbed away a scuff mark.
I need air. I can’t…breathe… A thickness plagued Ben’s throat, not helping his already queasy stomach. He stared at the familiar landscape of scattered brown leaves, bare trees swaying in the wind, and the winter-scarred grass, the hint of sunshine chased away by clouds. He tilted toward the cab’s partition. “You can stop here, mate.”
The taxi rolled to a stop and Riley stuffed her sneakers in the plastic bag before placing it into the tote. She lifted her head, her eyes drifting from Ben stuffing a ten-pound note through the hole in the cab’s partition to the wilted flowers and weathered gravestones waiting outside.
Seventy
What? No…no! It can’t be…
Stepping out of the cab, Riley trembled, the cellophane surrounding her flowers rustling against her parka in the brisk breeze. “Ben? It’s not…” Words she never thought she’d say choked her throat. “Your mom…?”
He nodded, closing the car’s door behind them. The slam unnerved several crows loitering in nearby trees, their abrasive caw-caw-caw filling the stilted silence between the couple as the cab headed back toward the main road. Ben swept his hair from his eyes and wrapped his arm around Riley’s shoulder, guiding her off the cement path. A warm breath left his lips in a shudder.
The safe, familiar feel of Ben holding her close was of little comfort. Walking through row upon row of moss-covered gravestones, her eyes, dazed with disbelief, filled with tears. Her shoes sank into the spongy sod with each fraught step. This is every child’s nightmare. The tingling in her nose intensified with the cemetery’s earthy smell of damp, freshly turned dirt. Poor Ben! “When…when did it happen—?” Her voice broke.
Ben bowed his head, staring at his boots scuffing over the flattened grass. “Riley, I wanted to tell you so badly…”
Is this really happening? Her body felt stiff, uncooperative, like she had forgotten how to walk. His mom…dead. That’s why he canceled his St. Patrick’s visit, why he seemed lost, got so drunk. Why didn’t he say anything? I wish he’d told me! Gathering tears stung her eyes. “Were you with her…when…was she sick?”
