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“But if he hurts you again”—Sunita balled her hand into a fist—“he’ll be leaving Orkney with one less testicle.”
Evie snickered.
“Seriously though, it doesn’t matter what I think,” said Sunita. “If you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“Well, I don’t know if he wants to get back together—and even if he does, I have to be realistic about what a relationship with Nick might look like.” She watched the actors kiss again. “And then there’s the split. That needs to be discussed, too, obviously. Everything needs to be out in the open if we’re gonna stand a fighting chance.”
“What if he doesn’t reveal anything new?” asked Sunita. “What if the severity of your Crohn’s really was the reason?”
Gazing beyond the actors, Evie’s eyes settled on the jutting layers of ancient sedimentary rock exposed during low tide. “Then I have to hope he’s learned from his mistake. I might not understand why he did what he did back then, but I’m done with feeling hurt and angry all the time. It’s exhausting, Sun. I can’t be that bitter person anymore, letting it eat away at me. It’s time to pull on my big girl pants and accept that I’m the only one who can give myself closure.
“And I have to stop seeing myself as a burden. I’ve successfully managed the shop and cooked meals for a major TV production—all without calling my mum or begging off sick. That’s hardly the behavior of a burden.”
“Nope!” Sunita smiled.
“I can’t control what other people think or say…or if they want to date me, but I can control how I react and what I believe,” said Evie. “From now on, I’m gonna be less self-critical and practice more self-compassion.”
“Hear, hear!”
She looked away, trading the four-million-year-old rock formations for her best friend. “Thanks. It’s early days, though. I might slip up and tumble back into bad habits…”
“If you do, I’ll prop you up.” Sunita leaned in for a side hug. “So…will you forgive him?”
“Maybe. I’d like to. In a way, forgiving him feels like forgiving myself for my part in all this. And for being stubborn and stuck. I know I wasn’t much fun to be around.”
Sunita nodded slowly like she was measuring what to say next. “Yeah, but who isn’t after a breakup. It’s like they say: you can’t heal or move on if you suppress the ugly stuff. You gotta live through it.”
“And I did—for thirteen unlucky years,” said Evie. “It might sound odd, but Saturday morning I felt…lighter, more content.”
“And that’s down to Nick?” asked Sunita.
“A bit. But mostly me.”
Raised voices pulled their attention to the beach where the lead couple were exchanging barbed insults between takes.
“Fiona thought those two were fucking like rabbits.” Sunita chuckled. “I bet she was thrilled about you and Nick.”
“So thrilled she squealed and woke up Rupes. But I told her what I told you: no one can know. Not yet, anyway. At least not until I know what we are—if anything.”
“How’s your Crohn’s through all this?”
“A few aches, the usual tiredness,” said Evie. “Nothing worrisome. I finish my antibiotics in four days and should be able to reschedule my missed infusion for next week.”
“And be clear to have a glass of wine this Saturday!”
“Yeah! Rebecca’s wedding is going to be epic. And Nick is best man!” Evie swooned, picturing him in a morning suit in the church.
“I still can’t believe Becca’s marrying his cousin after a month of dating,” said Sunita.
Evie pulled a face. “Neither can poor Puggie!”
* * *
After seven long days apart and countless flirty messages, Evie couldn’t wait to join Nick at Rebecca and Jonathan’s weekend wedding. Fate, however, had other plans. A leaky freezer in the café and a tardy repairman unexpectedly delayed their reunion, and Evie missed the entire church ceremony and half the evening reception.
Approaching The Odin Hotel, Nick’s At head table, missing you like mad x text quickened her pace, her heels’ purposeful click-click-click on the pavement parting the swarm of smokers loitering outside.
Incandescent in her fanciest frock—a sleeveless symphony of sea green sparkle with a plunging neckline and a swishy, ankle-length skirt—she rushed into the dining room and chanced upon Sunita and Fiona, their azure blue and buttery yellow dresses a bright respite in a sea of black and pastel.
