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Nick rubbed the back of his neck. “I cried for weeks. Couldn’t eat. Didn’t know what to do with myself. The only thing that helped was getting wasted. I’d be that prat at parties running about with no shoes on, urging everyone onward to the next boozy stop. Then I’d greet the morning with a banging headache and a Bloody Mary for breakfast. Calling it a night was a struggle. I couldn’t let the party end because if it did, my mind would snap back to you. In a weird way, my sales exec job actually helped with that. They paid me to schmooze clients in London and abroad. That’s when I met Olympia.”

Pia with her honey blonde highlights and skinny nose.

Evie sniffed, the all-too-familiar sting of tears burning the back of her throat, of spotting Nick and his new girlfriend at Rupert and Fiona’s wedding. Eight months after that, around the time of Ava’s baptism, she’d heard they’d broken up.

Her glare sprang back. “Do you know how I found out about you eloping?”

Nick wouldn’t hold her gaze.

“In the cathedral. Holding baby Ava in front of everyone. Can you even imagine how heartbreaking that was? Hearing it from your mother in front of my parents and friends that the boy I still loved four years on had married someone else? And on a whim, too!”

His throat bobbed.

“I was excited to see you, hoping to smooth things between us. Fuck, I even naively thought maybe we could find a way to get back together. But it was like Fi and Rupert’s wedding all over again except Pia the surprise girlfriend was now Pia the surprise wife. I was so humiliated.” Evie shook her head. “Everywhere I turned, every street, every corner of Orkney held painful memories—our memories. Mum suggested I visit Sunita in London for a bit, use the money I never spent on uni to make a fresh start. But I knew you lived there—somewhere—so I just had to hope our paths wouldn’t cross. All I wanted was to forget you.”

“I couldn’t forget you.” Nick touched her bent knee. “I missed you. I loved you.”

“Yeah, so much that you married someone else,” she snarled.

“I didn’t think you’d take me back. I was trying to heal my heart—”

“Oh, spare me.”

He pulled his hand away. “I know it sounds ridiculous, but I was so messed up, trying to numb the pain of losing you. I don’t even remember my wedding. And I kept on making the worst decisions. If I could go back, I would do everything differently.”

Crossing her arms, she looked away with a disgusted huff.

“I would’ve,” he repeated. “I wouldn’t have listened to Sam. I would’ve stayed at your bedside, holding your hand, and when they sent you home, I would’ve brought marshmallow Snowballs and Ross and made sure you didn’t want for anything. And obviously, I would never have met Pia, let alone married her.”

Evie always wondered: when did he realize he’d made a mistake? The morning after? A week, two months? Or was it Pia who pulled the plug?

“But you did marry her.”

“We lasted seven months,” said Nick. “I mean, shit, if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know.”

Well, there was one other thing.

“Did you love her?” she asked.

“No. I loved you.”

Evie wiped tears from her cheeks. “Well, I hated you.”

Nick closed his eyes for a beat then slowly opened them. “The split with Pia was mutual. I planned to tell you at Gran’s funeral, but…”

I stayed in London and didn’t fly home. Shame softened Evie’s anger. “Lily was always wonderful to me.” An ache thickened in her throat. “I can’t believe she’s been gone eight years now.”

Nick nodded into a sad fleeting smile. “Gran was always rooting for the two of us.”

Fighting against an undertow of melancholy, Evie gave in, drifting off into regret and remorse. “I still feel awful about missing her funeral. I wanted to come, but I didn’t think I could keep it together if—seeing you with Pia…” She swallowed. “Fi told me later that you’d divorced. I adored Lily. I should’ve been there.”

“And she adored you. I used to ask Gran if she’d seen you, how you were. She wouldn’t tell me a thing.”

“You can’t blame her, Nick. You were married. You had a wife.”

“A wife she hardly said a word to. Then again, that wasn’t a surprise. Gran knew I wasn’t in love with her. She wasn’t you.”

Evie’s heart ached as she looked away.