Page 76

OLIVER

Nine days later, Tuesday, November 10, 1992

Leafs record: 8 wins, 5 losses, 2 ties (in overtime)

“You have to tell her,” urged Rafferty, his voice huffy on the other end of the line. “She’s got to be wondering why you’ve been avoiding her. Fuck, I bet the poor girl’s wondering what on earth she’s done.”

Oliver grumbled and peered beyond the scratched plexiglass of the phone booth, watching for Georgie. The continuous glow of passing car headlights sliced through the darkness cloaking Yonge Street. “I was legitimately away for work, you know.”

“Don’t be cute,” replied Rafferty. “You know what I mean.”

That was the thing about best friends—they always saw through your bullshit.

“I can’t tell her yet,” said Oliver. “Telling her about my mother opens up…other stuff.”

“You reckon she’ll ask about your father?”

“Wouldn’t you?” Oliver dug into the inside pocket of his coat, pulling out his wallet. “I’m fucking dreading it. Apparently, Georgie thinks the world of Will.”

“Yeah, but being honest and vulnerable is the best way to bring intimacy and trust into a new⁠—

“Raff, I love you and all, but please spare me the therapy speak. I know, okay?” Cradling the phone receiver in the crook of his neck, Oliver snatched his Bell Canada calling card from the top of the telephone and slipped it back into his wallet.

Rafferty scoffed down the line. “Then why aren’t you doing it? If you’re not careful, you’ll end up sabotaging this, just like you did with the other two. Both women were lovely. Both adored you.”

“Until they didn’t. Can’t say I blame them. Both were better off without me.” Oliver pocketed his wallet inside his coat and grasped the receiver again, his gaze meandering across the street where spiky-haired goths clad in head-to-toe black congregated on the steps of The Concert Hall. “I’m terrible at relationships.” Not to mention completely, irrevocably unlovable it would seem. He dragged his free hand over his exasperated frown.

“Well, you will be if you keep telling yourself that,” yawned Rafferty.

“You’re getting way ahead of yourself. I don’t even know if Georgie wants anything beyond a friendship.”

“But if it’s just friendship she’s after, why’d she invite you to ice hockey?” asked Rafferty.

“Because it was Halloween and her friends were busy? I don’t know. I was probably the last person on her list.”

“Or top of it. Think about it: the game was on a Saturday—prime date night. She offered to treat you and teased a Halloween costume you would like. Not her friends, not the ice hockey players. YOU.” Rafferty sucked in an audible inhale. “Sounds like a date to me. I know you despise the silly sport, but you should’ve gone, mate.”

Oliver grumbled. “I should’ve done a lot of things.”

“Like kissing her?” asked Rafferty.

“I wanted to. It was the perfect opportunity to show her how I feel.” Oliver looked downward, nudging the damp, disintegrating newsprint of a discarded Now with his shoe. The moment was burned into his brain. Her lips brushing mine, her gaze dropping to my mouth. He rubbed his eyes without mercy. “I hate myself for bottling it. If I could do it all over again, I’d—” Lowering his hand, he felt the doubt worm its way into his thoughts. “I-I don’t know. Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe this is all in my head and I’m imagining she wanted to kiss me.” He glanced wearily outside. “She did pull away first.”

“She probably had a good reason.”

“Yeah—she finds me cold and detached,” said Oliver.

Rafferty tsked. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it! Maybe she spotted a student from her school or one of their parents. Put yourself in her shoes: you’re a teacher and you’re caught canoodling during school hours. What do you do? Think Fuck it and go in for the snog, or do you run for the subway?”

Oliver sighed. “Run.”

“Precisely.” Rafferty cleared his throat. “So, I reckon you should ask her.”

He scrunched his face. “If she saw a student?”

“No, whether she fancies you. Let’s not forget, she did ask you out.”

“I don’t know. I’m still not convinced the game was a date,” said Oliver. “Georgie’s friendly and inclusive with everyone. It’s her nature. It doesn’t mean she fancies me. And for that reason, I’m not asking her such an embarrassing question. I do have a tiny shred of dignity left, you know.”