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“Really?”

Her insecurity hit me square in the chest.

Angel, don’t you know? You’re not just another random girl in my bed.

To see such fragility beneath her iron resolve threw me off-kilter, and I struggled to find my balance. I reached up to tenderly push a stray curl away from her face, tucking it behind her ear.

“Yes, angel. Really. Except for my first stint with BDSM, my experience has been limited to one- or two-night affairs. Until I met you, I’ve never taken the chance with a more long-term arrangement.”

She turned back around and settled herself against my chest once again.

“Who was your first? I mean,” she paused, giving herself over to a yawn. “You told me you’ve been into this for years, but I guess what I really want to know is if all of your relationships have been this way.”

Whether it was her captivating curiosity or the docile way she lay in my arms, I couldn’t stop the words from flowing if I tried.

“I was eighteen. I was seeing this girl from my neighborhood. We were only together for a couple of months, but she was into it. When I look back, what we did was like playing in the minor leagues, but it sparked more than just a simple curiosity for me. As I got older, I learned money had a way of talking. I started traveling in different social circles, particularly in circles that included a few millionaires with diverse tastes. Eventually, I was propositioned about joining a club. Everything just fell in line after that.”

“So, it’s that easy? You just go to a club and pick out a random girl?” She posed her question indifferently, but I could hear a small measure of disgust hidden beneath her tone.

She doesn’t understand.

I had to rein her in before the conversation went south.

“It’s not quite as simple as you’re making it sound, Krystina. There is a process involved—it’s not a difficult one, but steps are taken to make sure all parties are safe and discreet. That’s why I typically favor the club scene. The women there know the rules, they have the experience, and they can keep emotional attachments out of an arrangement.”

“Hmm…I think I’d like to go to your club one day,” she mused.

Oh, hell no.

Knowing Krystina’s inquisitive mind, I should have predicted she’d want to go to the club once she knew about it. I cursed myself for not considering the possibility. The thought of her being inside Club O made me feel sick, but I couldn’t tell her what the place was like without a detailed explanation.

She didn’t know what went on there, despite the controls put in place. She would be vulnerable to any number of controversial behaviors, depending on who was in attendance. As it was, she had already been rattled by what she had found on the internet. Seeing it in person would be an entirely different experience—one I didn’t think she could handle. And I’d be damned if I would be the one to expose her to the depth of licentiousness there.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not the sort of place you’d like,” I tried to argue.

“Either way…” she paused, giving herself over to another yawn. “I’d like to go someday to see for myself.”

I could tell she was fighting off sleep, so I quickly took advantage of her exhaustion to dispel any thoughts she may have about pushing the subject further.

“You need sleep, angel. We’ve talked enough tonight, and you have to rest. Just close your eyes.”

Unsurprisingly, it didn’t take much convincing. Within minutes, Krystina’s breathing was soft and even. It was all I could do not to sigh in relief. If she’d had her full wits about her, I wouldn’t have been let off the hook so easily. My involvement with her was moving rapidly, and I often found myself inadvertently giving away too much information. I had to remember how green Krystina was to my scene and disclose information at a more measured pace. If I continued to give her too much all at once, I’d risk pushing her away.

I shifted her weight to the side to lay her down beside me. She barely stirred as I slid the covers up over her body. Propping a pillow under my elbow, I rested my head on my hand and stared down at her for a long while. Her lips parted ever so slightly with each breath she took, her alluring face soft and tranquil. She was beautiful when she slept.

I couldn’t help but think about how perfect she looked here—in my bed—as if she were destined to be there. I was surprised by how easily I had adapted to the idea of having her here regularly. The feelings she stirred were unfamiliar, but I couldn’t say they were unwelcome. Being with Krystina made me realize how empty my life had been. She was unknowingly filling a void I hadn’t known existed before.

However, I could not ignore the steadfast pull in my gut, the constant reminder I shouldn’t get too close. I knew if I wanted to keep Krystina around, I needed to find a way to balance the past with the present before I got in any deeper.

Giving in to a yawn, I fought against my eyelids that had suddenly become heavy. It was barely ten o’clock, but I was exhausted.

I can’t fall asleep…not yet.

I didn’t think Krystina was going anywhere anytime soon, but there was no way I would chance her slipping out on me again. I had to keep the sandman away for just a little while longer.