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You can do this.

I squared my shoulders and took a deep, self-assured breath.

“He came at me, but I was no match against him. He beat me.” I paused, struggling to get the rest out. “And he forced himself on me.”

“He raped you?”

I winced at hearing Alexander voice the brutality I refused to acknowledge, even after all this time.

“Yes, he raped me.”

Uttering those few words made me feel as if I were being ripped apart from the inside. The pain was tremendous, yet I felt a certain amount of relief through the hurt. It was as if the weight of the entire world had been removed from my shoulders.

“Fuck, Krystina,” Alexander swore, his voice full of venom. “I…I knew there was something. But I had no idea.”

He pulled me close to him, but this time I welcomed his embrace. When he touched me, a little bit of warmth seeped into my blood that seemed to be flowing arctic cold.

“I tried to reach Allyson, but I didn’t know where she was, and she wasn’t answering her phone. I waited for her all night.” I choked on the last sentence as the memories from that fateful day began to take their toll on my strength. “When she finally came home the next morning, I was a mess. I couldn’t even speak. I just remember crying uncontrollably. Honestly, the entire thing is kind of foggy even now. One minute I was home, and the next, I was in a hospital bed. Doctors and police officers were asking me questions, but I couldn’t get the words out.”

Alexander pulled back suddenly, alarm spreading over his handsome features.

“I hope you don’t think…I mean, when I talk about punishing you, you know it’s different than—” he started, but I cut him off before he could finish.

“I know it’s different. At first, I worried what happened might get in the way. But you convinced me to trust you in that regard. You unknowingly taught me the difference between pleasure that comes from pain and pain that comes from violence.”

Alexander squeezed me tighter to him.

“I’ve always underestimated your strength, but I can’t help but apologize. I would have done things differently with you had I known this earlier,” he murmured into my hair.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad you didn’t know because I wouldn’t want to change anything. In fact, I always worried people would look at me differently if they knew what happened with Trevor. I couldn’t even talk about it to the therapists I tried going to. I was serious when I said I’ve never told anyone the details of that night up until now.”

“Nobody?” he asked.

“Like I said, not even Allyson.”

He abruptly pulled back to look at me. All of the compassion was gone, and I was alarmed by the amount of anger flashing in his eyes.

“You said there were police at the hospital. Are you saying you never even told them? He walked?”

“Alex, I was in so much pain that day—emotionally and physically. I was too weak to admit the truth to myself, let alone to a stranger in a uniform. So, yes. I let him walk.”

He searched my face carefully, although I wasn’t sure of what exactly he was trying to find.

Is he looking at me now with different eyes? Will he still touch me the same way?

After a moment, I tore my gaze from his. I didn’t want to entertain the many ways my revelation could change our relationship. However, he took my chin in his hand and turned my head back to look at him.

“Do not blame yourself,” he said vehemently.

“What makes you think I’m blaming myself?”

“Because you said you let him walk. And I’m familiar with the look on your face. My mother wore that look.”

I froze.

“Your mother?”

“Yes. My father was an abusive man, and she always blamed herself. Don’t be that woman, Krystina. Don’t allow yourself to be the victim. You’re tougher than that. Your admission today tells me as much. By overcoming what happened and moving on from the horrors in your past, you become the champion. The minute you stand proud and strong, Trevor becomes nothing but a weak little man.”