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“Cutting through the BS to discover the truth. You really are a breath of fresh air. I’m not used to people being that way with me.”
“So? Have you?” she pushed.
“Yes, Krystina. I have.”
“How long have you…well, been into this sort of thing?”
Careful now…
“You make it sound like I have a disease, Krystina,” I laughed, slightly uneasy with the possibility of where this conversation could lead. “In all honesty, I’ve had these interests for years. It’s just who I am.”
End it there. She doesn’t need to know the why.
“Is it easy to find women who like to do this stuff?”
“It’s not too hard. The club scene makes it pretty easy, actually,” I admitted.
“Clubs?”
“Yes. There are clubs throughout the city, discreetly hidden, of course.”
“What do you mean? Like a secret society of some sort?” she asked, pinching her nose up in confusion. She made me laugh, her innocence easing the tension that had settled in my shoulders.
“Krystina, this is real life. Not The DaVinci Code. I mean regular clubs. They’re just not open to the general public, making it easy for me to maintain anonymity. Membership is required, and they don’t advertise. Generally, the whereabouts of these sorts of clubs travel strictly by word of mouth.”
“Oh, I see.” Her brow creased as if she were trying to put together the pieces of a puzzle.
I deliberately skirted around any further probing into my background. However, Krystina wasn’t that naive. I was as honest as I could be, but she knew I wasn’t giving her everything. I could only hope that what I did give her was enough, and she’d be accepting. Because from where I was standing, we were not moving ahead. She had yet to consent to take the next step.
She looked down at the list and began reading it over again, picking it apart line by line. Minutes stretched on, the silence maddening.
She’s going to keep asking questions. I shouldn’t have put it all down in black and white.
My patience was running thin. I was failing. I thought I could teach her, but I was proving to be inept. Either we would navigate this together, or not at all. I had waited long enough.
“I should have known better,” I snapped, irritated with myself for allowing this to go on for so long. “I wrote it all down because you asked me to because you’re unsure, but this is obviously not working. So from now on, we do this my way. Come with me.”
I stood up, grabbed her hand, and pulled her up from the couch.
“Where are we going?” she asked, obviously startled by my abruptness.
“To my bedroom. I want to show you something. And don’t worry. I promise not to touch you—yet.”
I led her down the hall toward the closed door of my bedroom. With each step we took, I could feel the pulse in her wrist drum faster and faster. Her palm broke out in a cold sweat. She seemed genuinely terrified. Her fear caused an ache to pull at my chest. I didn’t want Krystina to be afraid of me, and the only thing I could do to erase her fears was to show her.
Reining in my impatience, I reminded myself to be gentle with her. The internet had planted too many false notions in her head, and it was my job to prove there were other ways to my world.
Just take it slow. Wait for her acceptance.
When we reached the door, I paused before opening it. I turned to her, released her hand, and brought my palms up to rest against each side of her face. I had initially planned to offer words of assurances, but as soon as I had freed her hands, they began twisting together near her waist. Instantly, my cock hardened, and I had to fight the instinctive need to drag her to my bed and tie her to the rails.
What is it about those damned fidgeting hands that makes me want to fuck her senseless?
I ignored the throbbing in my groin and focused on the task ahead. I couldn’t afford to screw this up just because my dick had a mind of its own.
Patience. Restraint. Finesse.
“I need you to keep an open mind, Krystina. Can you do that for me?”