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Chapter 52

ONE MONTH LATER

I haven’t seen him in a month, I barely left the room. I can’t stand the thought of crossing his path. Can’t bear to look at him. Abigail offered to try and fix my wings, constantly offering, knowing it caused me pain. But as I watch her belly grow more and more each day, I couldn’t ask that of her, she was tired enough, just like me. I feel exhaustion beyond anything I could imagine, the nights growing longer with every day that passes as I tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable, trying to forget everything that was Silas.

The bond truly is a curse and if I could make it end, I would have in my weakest moments. But then, thinking of Matitus and Dragus and knowing how much it would hurt them if I did, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t bring myself to give up my magic and save myself from the destruction that is Silas. He was destruction, destroying everyone he meets.

We held funerals for the dead, I even asked Dragus to retrieve Silas’s father, I never went. The only one I went to was Marian’s. I still can’t believe she is dead; I am just glad she got to see the kingdom coming together before she died. Thankful to have been granted the memories of knowing her.

Matitus barely leaves my side and if he does, Dragus stays with me. Memories of everything Silas has ever done haunts me. I know Silas feels guilty, yet I can’t bring myself to forgive him, not this time. How do you forgive someone that threatened to take your child away and throw you away like you mean nothing to them?

One day, I sit up when the doors open. Every Time they opened, I feel a twinge of fear and anxiety that it is Silas. I sigh in relief as Matitus walk in, he was only gone for a few minutes, but it was long enough for my mind to scare me into thinking he was going to come and rip my baby from my womb.

That fear keeps Dragus awake at night. I can’t sleep knowing he could walk in at any time, Dragus can’t sleep because he can feel my fear of it, though he assures me Silas wouldn’t. Yet after everything, I wouldn’t put it past him to cut our baby from my womb and take it.

“I brought you some tea,” Matitus says, placing a cup down on the bedside table and helps me sit up. At this point, I only have a few weeks to go. My stomach bulges. The baby inside me grows more each day.

Matitus hands me the cup and lays beside me on the cramped bed. Silas told them we could have the bedroom upstairs, but I refused, I didn’t expect them to stay with me, but they still did. I know they are as uncomfortable as I am in this room. But knowing Silas would be walking in and out randomly made me refuse the offer.

“We should go for a walk,” Matitus says, staring at the ceiling. I shake my head sitting against the headboard.

“Please love, I can’t keep sitting in this room doing nothing,” he says, rolling on his side and rubbing my huge belly. “I won’t let him touch you, he won’t even see you. He is doing stuff in the city, just one lap around the castle grounds,” he says.

I sip my tea. Going outside would be good, would help my magic heal me but the idea of going out there in the cold also didn’t seem to be all that appealing either. The baby sat atop my bladder, constantly giving me the urge to pee. Plus, the cold made everything worse.

“Where is Dragus?” I ask, changing the topic. He sighs, rolling back on his back while playing with a piece of my hair that fell on him, twirling it around his finger.

“He is with Pluto in the stables,” he answers.

“What is he doing in there?” I ask.

“Building a crib, well making one anyway,” he answers. I sigh. Building a crib for the baby I don’t get to keep, the baby he will take as soon as it’s born. “Don’t think like that Elora, I don’t think he will go through with it,” Matitus says.

“Well then you don’t know him, do you?” I retort. They think I am blinded to the hate I feel through the bond. He hates me, though I can tell he loves me. His hate is what he hangs onto, his hate is what will make him do it.

“We can go look at it, Dragus said it was nearly done,” he says looking up at me, hopeful.

“You’re sure he isn’t on the castle grounds?”

“Positive. Dakari is with him.”

“One lap then we come back,” I tell him. He nods, getting off the bed and pulling me up. Getting up from the bed is always the hardest. I look like an old lady swinging my legs trying to get up enough momentum to push my weight up.

“You should put something warm on, it’s cold out today,” he hands me my sweater. I tug it on over my head and it won’t go past my boobs. I huff while Matitus looks amused as I try pulling it off only to get stuck. He chuckles, pulling it off.

“Wait here I will go get one of mine,” he says, darting out of the room and closing the door. I waddle over to my slippers, sliding my feet in them just as Matitus returns with one of his hoodies. I chuck it on and follow him out the door. My heart races in my chest as I walk down the corridor.

“Calm down, he isn’t here, love,” he says, pulling on my hand gently toward the front door. We stop at the doors, and I sit on the bench seat. Matitus places some socks on my feet from the basket on the shelf above my head. I then stuff my feet in my boots, trying to reach the laces. Matitus does them up. Getting up, he opens the door, the light making me squint as I wait for my eyes to adjust to the brightness. Not much light comes into the room. In the room, I feel like I am in my own little bubble, nestled away with just the fireplace and my books to keep me sane.

The air instantly makes me shiver as I walk down the few steps in front of it.

“Ah I need to pee, see exactly why this was a bad idea,” I tell him about to turn back around.

“Hold it, I know as soon as you go back in you will refuse to come back out,” he says tugging my hand. I can see the city through the gates, the street directly in front the castle was hit the worst in the attack, but looking at it now, you would never have thought just a month ago it was destroyed. Looking better than it ever has now with its fresh rooftops on the building and fresh paint, the signs on the businesses replaced with new ones.

“Dakari has been busy with Pluto and Dragus,” I state looking, through the gates.

“Mostly Silas and Dakari. Every morning, Silas hauls him out to do stuff, Abigail has been getting quite angry about it because he can never spend time with her,” Matitus tells me. I wondered why Abbie didn’t tell me herself.