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“Without it, I’m nothing. If I lose this shot, there is no way I don’t go back to drugs. I’d have nothing without it.”
“You’d be alive.”
“Without a purpose,” I counter.
“I suppose that’s true. Do you think you’ll relapse?”
“I don’t want to, but I’m trapped on a bus with her, and she doesn’t hide her using. I’ve watched her consume more coke than I ever did.”
“What do you need from me?”
“Tell me it will be okay. That I can be around it and stay sober.”
“I can’t say that, kid. I’m sorry. The best I can say is to stay away from her. When she starts using, get as far away from it as you can. Remember everything you have now, you almost lost it all because of the drugs.”
“I’m trying.”
“And Wyatt, there is a thin line between love and hate, so just be mindful of that. Don’t throw it all away for a girl. There will always be other girls, but only one you.”
I think he is wrong. There will never be another girl like Tuesday.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“Call me anytime. Even if you just need to talk to stay distracted.”
“I might take you up on that, but now I have to go.”
“Stay clean, kid.”
“You, too.”
I slide my phone back in my pocket, leaning against the wall of the building.
“Who was that?” Her voice takes me by surprise.
“No one,” I say, letting my eyes shut. His advice was solid, but impossible to follow.
“Sponsor?”
“Maybe.”
“Having urges?”
“Maybe.” I look over at her.
“It must be hard.”
“A little.”
“Because of me?”
“You’re definitely a big factor in how hard it is.”
“I’m very good at making people’s lives harder. And men’s cocks.”
“I’m aware.”
“Sometimes I wonder how no one’s tried to kill me yet.” Her voice goes quiet. “Some days, I’m just waiting for him to do it.”
