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He opens the packet of bread, taking four slices out and putting them into the toaster. He busies himself in the cupboard, pulling out jars of what looks like jam, lemon curd, and marmalade.
“I won’t tell anybody.”
“Dee,” he says with a sigh, turning to look at me properly. “I am not going to ask you to lie or keep secrets. That would be wrong of me. If you feel the need to tell anybody, you should do, regardless of what you think the consequences are.”
“There isn’t anybody I would want to tell. Nobody here, anyway.”
“The friend you mentioned?” he guesses.
“Yeah. Felix. We keep in touch via text and emails. He knows everything that happens at home,” I explain.
“Then, by all means, tell Felix.”
He sounds so relaxed, but it puts me at ease. I know his kindness is something that could have repercussions, whether he wants to accept that or not. He could get thrown off his teaching placement. I’m not entirely sure how this situation fits in terms of the law either, but I imagine it could potentially cause some issues. All things I wouldn’t want to make him suffer, just because my home life is so shitty and he’s the only person in my life right now who wants to make sure I’m safe.
I’m sure that when I tell Felix what happened, he’ll reprimand me for not calling his mother last night. He’ll remind me that I promised to call Jennifer if there was a problem. Except I haven’t been entirely honest with Felix about how far things have escalated and what I’ve been doing. It’ll be hard to explain Joseph as well, but I commit myself to telling Felix everything today. I’ll send him a long email over lunch. Or maybe I’ll see if he can video chat later.
“I need to go home at some point. I need my things.”
“I’ll drive you on the way to school. Do you want me to come into the house with you?” he asks.
My stomach turns at the idea of going into the house, but I’m sure I’ll be fine after the first time. Duncan is probably gone. Or he’ll be passed out, dead to the world, and won’t even know I’ve been to the house.
“No, I think that’ll make things worse. I can be quick. My bag is packed, so I just need to grab it and my shoes.”
I start to plan out the next couple of nights. Maybe I could ask Jennifer if I can stay with her tonight. It’ll appease Felix, and it’ll buy me another clear night, let the dust settle. I haven’t seen Jennifer and Cain for a while, so maybe they’ll be happy to see me. We can catch up about how much we miss Felix.
Joseph passes me a plate with two slices of toast on it. He leaves the butter and condiments on the countertop near me. I add some lemon curd to my toast and eat slowly, counting down the minutes to when I’ll have to face the music and go home.
It’s still early when we leave his house. He loans me a pair of his trainers so I have something on my feet. They’re a couple of sizes too big for me, but it’s better than walking barefoot on the wet pavement. It must have rained overnight.
Joseph drives me home, and with each turn on the journey, I feel a little more dread seep into my bones. When he pulls onto my street, I’m sure it’s the dread and fear that make me imagine the scene ahead of me, but Joseph’s shocked exhale convinces me that it’s real.
Outside my house are two police cars, their lights still flashing even though the siren is off. Two officers are pushing a handcuffed Duncan in the direction of one car. Duncan looks to be protesting loudly—his screams and shouts aren’t completely audible in the cocoon of the car, but I can tell by his twisted expression. I wonder if my mother’s protests are louder than his, as she also has a twisted expression as she fights against the grip two other officers have on her. She’s also handcuffed and being pushed in the direction of the second police car.
Joseph pulls the car to a halt a few houses shy of mine. We watch as the officers wrangle both my mother and Duncan into the cars, then get in and drive away.
My next-door neighbour stands in her garden. She spots me in the car and gives me a sad little wave. I get out and walk in the direction of my house.
“What happened, Nat?” I ask.
“I’m glad you weren’t home, sweetheart. They started a blazing row a little while ago. Usually I ignore it, but it sounded like they were going to kill each other. I’m so sorry, but I called the police. They made it worse in the garden by shoving the officers who turned up,” she explains.
If both of them have been arrested, I’m sure they won’t be home tonight. It’ll take some time for them to be interviewed. I know Duncan has been arrested before. Maybe it’ll be enough that he won’t be out immediately. Maybe tonight, I can stay at home, safe and alone.
“You did the right thing,” I assure her. Natalie is in her seventies and likes to keep herself to herself. Calling the police would have been a hard decision for her—it would be a hard decision for anybody on the street. Mostly, people let arguments and issues run out without calling attention to things.
Natalie gives me another little wave before disappearing indoors. As her front door closes, Joseph arrives next to me.
“What happened?” he asks.
“Massive fight, apparently.” I cross over to my house, trying the front door, which mercifully has been left unlocked. I’m grateful, as it wasn’t like I was in my full faculties to grab a key last night when I was making my escape.
“I’ll wait here,” Joseph offers.
I turn to him. “No, don’t worry. I’ll walk from here. You go. It would be better if I don’t arrive at school in your car. I’m just going to get my things, lock up, and then I’ll come into school.” I step through the front door and then take the shoes he loaned me from my feet, handing them to him.
“I’ll see you later,” he replies. I’m glad he doesn’t try to argue with me. Who knows what state Duncan and my mother made of the house during their early-morning fight, or even their late-night one.