Page 59
The journey back to Delilah’s street feels like it flies by. It isn’t because of the chatter happening between us, but rather because the drive to my house was fraught with tension and frayed nerves, and that’s all gone now.
I pull the car to a stop just down from her shop. She’s already got one hand on the door handle, but she turns to look at me.
“I had a great night,” she says.
“I did too. I’m glad I got a chance to tell you how sorry I am about what I did to you.”
“I don’t regret it.”
“Last night?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “All of it. It was nice to see you, Joseph.” She’s quiet for a second as she glances at the time on the dash. “I should go. If I rush, I shouldn’t be too late for Felix.”
I open my mouth to say goodbye, but then I spot him. Felix. He’s stood near the door to Delilah’s shop, checking his mobile. He seems engrossed, but then he looks up and his expression changes. He storms towards the car, and before I can warn her, he pounds on the passenger window.
She jumps and turns in his direction.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Felix’s voice is loud enough for us to hear it through the closed windows and doors.
Delilah doesn’t say another word to me. She unclips her seatbelt, opens the door, and gets out of the car, shutting the door behind her. I get out too. I know I’m likely to be throwing fuel onto the fire, but there’s no way I’m going to let her face Felix by herself.
“Come on, we’ll talk over brunch,” Delilah soothes.
“I don’t believe you, Dee,” Felix snaps.
“I just needed to talk to him,” she explains. There’s no blush upon her cheek betraying the difference between “talk” and “spend all night fucking.”
“Did you talk about everything?” There’s a shocked tone to him now.
“We just spoke about how I felt after he left.” Delilah puts her hand on Felix’s chest, but he turns his attention to me.
“You need to leave her the fuck alone. You’re no good for her. I won’t let you ruin her life,” he snarls.
Felix is a big guy. Far bigger than I am. Taller and wider, and I’d estimate half filled with rage right now. He’s never exactly had the friendliest face—I’ve rarely seen him smile—but right now he looks like he could happily tear me from limb to limb.
“Hush, Felix. Come on. Let me get changed quickly, and then we’ll have brunch,” Delilah coaxes. She looks at me. “Goodbye, Joseph.”
I nod. I wish we’d had a chance to say a longer goodbye, in private, but I’ve long since accepted that life doesn’t turn out the way people want. It can be generous with one hand and take without mercy with the other.
I get back into the car as Delilah walks down the street towards a doorway. It isn’t the one to her shop, so I assume it’s the one that takes her up to her flat. She never glances back in my direction.
Felix does, however. He glares at me over his shoulder. As he follows Delilah through the doorway, he stops and flips me off. Then the door shuts, and they’re gone. Out of my sight, and out of my life.
***
I walk back into my house and try not to feel despondent. I need to view last night in the same way she does: a one-time thing that reset the ending and gave us both some closure.
I head to the kitchen to pick up some cleaning products before I go to my bedroom, because I know I need to clean up. Dropping my things onto the windowsill, I open the curtains I left closed in our rush to get her back home, then open the windows to let some fresh air into the room. The breeze is gentle and refreshing.
I walk around the room, picking up the used condoms and putting them into the bin bag, then wipe the surfaces down. I put the bin bag on the floor so I can strip the bed of the sheets. As I pull them free, there’s a waft of air, and the scent of Delilah wraps around me. I tell myself to get a grip. I have no right to think of her past what happened last night and this morning. It’s not sane to allow myself to stand in my bedroom and close my eyes, inhaling the scent and pretending she’s here.
I bundle the sheets up, grab the bin bag, and stalk back downstairs. I open the front door so I can put the discarded condoms into the main bin, then slam the door shut. Marching through to the laundry room, I throw the sheets into the washing machine and set it to run, to wash away any evidence she was here.
Satisfied everything is cleared away, I walk through to the kitchen so I can make something to eat. My mind wanders to Delilah, thinking about her brunch with Felix. Are they relaxed right now, seated with a plate of food and glasses of mimosas, talking about what she did last night? Is he still giving her a lecture? Is she agreeing with him that it was a mistake, another of her bad decisions, telling him she knows I’m no good for her?
I feel sour as I open the fridge, looking for something to eat. I pull out a pack of smoked salmon and some asparagus, then set the coffee machine to pour my usual. By the time I’m finished and sitting at the table, I have a mug of steaming coffee and a plate of smoked salmon, asparagus, and poached eggs on toast. I have everything I usually like, but the silence is deafening.
I finish breakfast and call Pippa, my manager.