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“I thought you said you made bad decisions,” I say with a growl.

I carry her up the staircase that leads to her flat. There’s another door that she fumbles at the handle to open. We push through it together. I barely have a chance to look around the room we’re in, which appears to be an open-plan living, kitchen, dining area, before she gestures towards the right. There’s a door there, so I head towards it, carrying her with me. I push the door open with my foot, thrilled to find her bedroom, the large double bed dominating the centre of the far wall. The bed she insisted I throw her onto before I fuck her.

I take a step towards the bed, getting a fleeting thought about whether this is us making another bad decision, wondering how Felix is going to react, but then Delilah nips at the side of my neck. She exhales, her breath warm on my skin.

“Do it,” she commands. “I want it. I want you.”

This is not just an illicit drop of my chosen poison. This is a flood of it, and I surrender, willing to open my veins and die from it.

All arguments, all thoughts, they seep out of me like water through a sieve. I take the final steps towards her bed, and we tumble down together, falling with reckless abandon, all potential consequences cast aside, our focus on nothing but the passion and heat between us.

Chapter twelve

Delilah

Then—School

The early-morning light filters through the bedroom window, courtesy of the curtains being left half open last night. The light might be making it unlikely that I’ll fall back to sleep, but I’m perfectly content. I can’t think of anything else I would want or need in life. The warmth and solidness of Joseph’s body behind me, the weight of his arm over my side, the way his hand rests on my stomach—it all adds up to making me feel like everything is perfect.

I keep myself still against him, but I let my hand travel a little, my fingers trailing across the skin of his arm.

My mind is empty of thoughts and worries. It’s like this every time with him. I didn’t know it was possible to feel contentment like this. There’s a security he provides that I want to hold onto forever, to tuck away in my soul in a magic box that can never be touched or tainted by anybody else.

Joseph murmurs slightly, and then his lips connect against my ear, a sleepy little kiss that makes me smile.

“Morning,” I whisper.

“Too early to be awake, Dee,” he whispers back. The arm snaked around me pulls me closer.

We’re both naked, and he gives me an appreciative growl as my backside nestles against his cock.

“I don’t know how to sleep in,” I remind him. He’s usually up early as well but sleeps a little later than I typically do. I’ve enjoyed the mornings where I spend an hour or so snuggled in his arms as he sleeps. It makes me feel like I’m the only person in the universe, wrapped in tranquillity and affection.

“Wake me in an hour,” he says.

He moves his leg, wrapping it over my hip. I can tell from the way his chest moves against my back that he quickly falls back into his slumber.

I let myself fall into the rhythm he provides. It’s slow and steady, familiar and comforting. I think I could pick his rhythm out of a line-up, something I’ve engrained into me in the past three months.

My life has changed for the better in that time. I’ve had such happiness since the fake prom night, something I never expected. I’ve barely been back to my mother’s house, instead staying most nights with Joseph. I’ve met both of his housemates now, and although we don’t see them often due to their shifts and the fact that Joseph seems to have taken a shine to his bedroom, they feel like friends.

I’ve spent almost a decade of my life feeling closed off, hiding myself from people because the reality of what I had at home was too much of a secret for me to share, and too much of a burden to carry. Felix has always been the exception, but with Joseph, it feels like I’ve allowed myself to let go a little of the binds I’ve kept myself in.

It’s been nice to breathe.

A safe roof over my head every night. A man who makes me laugh every day. Being told daily that somebody loves me. A safe and strong pair of arms that hold me tight as I fall asleep.

Three months of feeling safe and feeling loved.

Except, now, a little prickle of anxiety has found its way into me. Tonight, Felix will be home, and tomorrow, he’s going to meet Joseph. I can’t decide how well that will go. It isn’t like I’ve ever introduced somebody to Felix before. I’ve messaged and called Felix and told him about Joseph, of course. Joseph didn’t even judge me when I asked for some privacy the morning after we slept together so I could call Felix, just to give me some grounding.

Will they like each other? Will Felix see just how much Joseph has changed my life for the better? Will Joseph see that Felix has been my rock? I can’t imagine what I’ll do if they don’t get on. For the first time in my life, there are two people who are equally important to me, and I’m desperate to make sure I can balance everything between them.

“Delilah,” Joseph mumbles.

“Hmm?”

“You feel tense. You’re thinking too hard.”