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“If you’ll have me,” I quip.

“I’ll always have you.” He holds out a hand for me, so I take it and follow him into the house, excited at the prospect of a night with the West family, even if I know I’ll miss Joseph all night long.

***

I knock on Joseph’s front door, almost fizzing with excitement about seeing him again. I’m sure my smile is wide and seeing him is a huge part of my good mood. There’s a fraction of me that knows my good mood is also because the last twenty-four hours have been lovely. I enjoyed my night with Felix and his family, chatting over dinner and laughing at a comedy film together as we ate ice cream. Felix and I stayed up most of the night, lying next to each other in his double bed, talking about every topic under the sun.

I knock again and wait. When I get no answer, I pull my mobile out. He hasn’t messaged since last night when he asked for confirmation that I was staying with Felix and then told me to enjoy my shift. I send a text to tell him I’m outside.

I knock again when I get no reply. The door opens and I smile, but then it falters when I see it’s one of his housemates, Tyler.

“Oh, sorry, I’m supposed to be meeting Joseph,” I say.

Tyler rubs his eyes, clearly sleepy and grumpy at being woken up. “Joseph left this for you,” he says, thrusting an envelope at me with one hand and a bag with the other.

On the front of the envelope is my name, written in Joseph’s script.

“Can I come in and wait for him?” I ask, turning the envelope over in my hands.

“I’m really sorry, but Joseph cleared his stuff out last night. He told me I should give that to you. I don’t have anything else I can tell you, other than to say I’m really sorry.” Tyler flashes me a look of sympathy, and as confused as I am, the idea of standing under his sympathetic gaze makes me feel uncomfortable and ashamed.

“Oh. Right. Goodbye,” I mumble. I turn on my heels and walk away.

I hear the slam of the front door, but I carry on walking around the curve of the street, away from the house. I stop near a tall wall outside one of the neighbour’s houses.

I drop the bag and focus on the letter. Ripping the envelope open, I pull out the paper.

I don’t understand. There are words, but they make no sense. It feels like they could be written in a foreign language that I never learnt to read. The only thing that registers is that Joseph has gone, and he’s left me behind like I’m a piece of discarded rubbish.

I feel light-headed with shock, and sick in my stomach with the devastation that I’ve meant nothing. Some of the words on the page start to form, like the letters have rearranged themselves. Words like fiancée and sorry spring up from the paper. I don’t understand why the words make sense but also make no sense at all.

It takes me a while for the realisation to hit me. Facts filter through. Important facts.

Joseph is gone. I wasn’t a good enough reason for him to stay.

I’m never a good enough reason for somebody to stay.

***

“Delilah.” Felix lets out a large sigh.

I turn my head slightly to look at him. My eyes are raw from crying, though I feel like I’ve run out of tears.

“I don’t know what to do,” I whisper.

“Has he replied to any of your messages?” Felix asks. He glances at the phone in my hand. I’m sure he can see from the screen that every message I’ve sent Joseph is showing as undelivered.

“No.” Even I hear that I sound broken.

“Scoot over,” he says.

I shift over on his bed, and he gets in beside me. The bed is warm because I’ve been in it since I arrived last night, broken and sobbing about the letter Joseph left for me. Felix had dragged me into his room, shouting over his shoulder to his parents that I was staying for the night. I spent most of last night sobbing.

Today, when Felix went to the house viewing with his father, he left me in bed, and Jennifer came to sit with me. She sat on the bed with me, stroking my hair and smoothing away my tears. It broke me all over again as—still reeling from the news that Joseph had left me—I was reminded that this was the type of relationship I didn’t have with my mother, that I couldn’t rely on her for comfort. I’m sure that the first time somebody gets their heart broken, they’re supposed to rely on their parents to help them heal.

As upset as I am knowing that my parents don’t even care about my broken heart, I’m grateful that I have Felix and his family.

Now, Felix wraps his arms around me.