Page 22
And yet, she's here. Running around the garden without a care in the world, my hair framing her face and a wide smile that makes my heart punch up into my throat.
Ten years.
Ten years since she was ripped from me, and I had to piece myself and my life back together. Not that I had much of a life to begin with. Leo made sure of that.
His face suddenly flashes through my mind like a blade tearing through an old scar, a face I'd sworn to forget because he, and everyone associated with that club, had up and vanished overnight.
Over time, I began to fear I'd dreamed the whole thing. That I was never pregnant and never gave birth. I feared it was all some crazy delusion I cooked up to deal with living on the streets in a strange city. And after a while, it was easier to think that. Easier to deal with. So I packaged it all inside me and buried it deep.
Even though part of me, hidden in the darkest parts of my mind, still clung to the truth.
A truth that stands before me right now.
I stumble back with a gasp as Leo's face flashes through my thoughts again. Sweat pouring from his brow, his face contorted and his mouth hanging open as the stench of alcohol and smoke invaded his lungs. His ugly grunts as he thrusts inside me and the fat squeeze of his fingers around my neck.
I can't breathe.
The sun above doubles in glare and the world around me flashes white while the restriction around my chest increases in pressure. My heart pounds harder and harder as if it's trying to break free of my ribcage and my knees knock together as my balance fails. Heat flushes my face while chills race down my back, and the pizza falls from my hands.
Can't breathe.
C-Can't breathe—
Panic overwhelms me and in a blink, I'm down on the grass with Mario over me. Annoyance flashes across his face as he watches me, but as his lips part and move, it's not his voice that reaches my ears.
It's a sweet, concerned voice that's followed by small hands clutching my arm.
"Are you okay? Does your chest feel funny? That's okay."
I blink and Illyana is kneeling on the grass next to me, watching me with such a worried expression on her beautiful face.
"I get panicky too sometimes," she says. "All you need to do is hold your breath and count. Like this!" She takes an exaggerated gasp and puffs her cheeks as she holds her breath, then she holds up her fingers to count.
Oh, my God.
She can't be real.
But she is.
Illyana.
My baby.
My child.
Her presence makes everything a thousand times worse. Tears flood my eyes and the world blurs. Grass catches under my fingers as I grip at the blades and I can only take short, sharp gasps as Illyana watches me with puffed cheeks.
"Illyana, stop!" The black-haired woman suddenly appears at her side. "You'll make yourself dizzy!"
"I'm trying to help her," Illyana shoots back as she releases her breath. "Mandy, you said we have to help people!"
"I know, sweetie. But this isn't the time."
"Why?" Illyana's hand slides up to my wrist and the contact burns like open flame against my skin. “You always help me when I get sick!” She turns back to me and takes an exaggerated breath again, but this time she hums as if she’s counting.
“Illyana, you know why. This woman isn’t sick,” Mario states. “She’s just weak.”
Illyana lets her breath out and suddenly glares up at Mario. “Sick people aren’t weak. What did you do? Did you bully her like you bullied Haley?”
