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But that thought remains.

Both of us.

Without me, Illyana dies.

And this life that created her is so brutally cruel that I can imagine a hundred different fates for her that are worse than death.

Maybe that's my real choice.

Wiping away my tears, I pull open the balcony doors and walk to the edge of the railing, then I peer over the top.

It's a long way down and the fall would definitely kill me.

If I die, she dies. And whatever hell awaits her at the hands of Mario and his sick friends is erased. Really, I'd be saving her life. And mine.

I clutch the railing and gaze down at the paving stones below while my elbows shake almost as violently as my heart pounds.

Should I jump?

11

CASSIAN

"Joker. We have a situation."

Finding the quietest corner I can, I huddle into it while pressing my phone to my ear and keeping one eye scouting my surroundings in case anyone decides to wander too close. It's bad enough that Sabina is somehow here, but her reaction worries me. She seems to think badly of me for whatever reason, so my plan to sweep her off the balcony in my arms ended with her panicked desperation for me to get away from her.

"Talk to me," Raven replies. "Are you in danger?"

"Unsure. I found Sabina."

"That's excellent." Raven pauses briefly. "That's not excellent?"

"She's here at my grandfather's place in Sicily. I got to speak to her, but she started freaking out as soon as she found out I was related to him. I've never seen her like that before. It was like some kind of switch flipped and she turned into someone else."

"Can't blame her," Raven replies. "It's been twelve days and we don't know what's happened to her in that time. Did she look well? Healthy?"

"A little thinner than I remember and she's clearly not sleeping well," I reply. "But all in all, she looks physically okay."

"Valentina's on her way to meet you. You have to be careful, Cassian. I know Mario is your grandfather, but something sinister is obviously going on. Gather what intel you can, but not at the risk of your life. You're cut off from the Suit out there. Bradley is trying to get some friends in Europe to help you, but it's taking time. Be careful."

"You said that already," I joke, mostly to calm my own growing nerves. "You have my location, right?"

"I do. Valentina will meet you at the first security spot. You remember where that is?"

"I do. I just…" I glance upward as Sabina's teary face fills my head. "I don't know how to play this."

"You have two options," Raven says calmly. "Either you pretend you haven't seen her and see what you can get out of Mario before either she or one of his security informs him. Or you tell him the truth and go in for the kill to see what info you can extract. That's risky, and need I remind you that I told you not to get shot again?"

"I remember. Okay. I know what I want to do. Oh, before I go, my grandpa left with a woman because someone called Illyana was sick. I don't know who that is."

"I'll see what I can find out," Raven replies. "Be careful, Cassian."

"I will. I promise."

The silence after the call ends is heavy. Every part of me remains tense and on alert as my grandpa's home turns from a place for the elderly into something much more dangerous. I never told him exactly who I was looking for, but he had the audacity to act like he was going to help me, and with a claim that he kept out of other people's business.

Is Sabina his business? I can't fathom how the two of them are connected and playing dumb is my safest way to get information. Then again, a man like Mario is bound to have countless cameras and more keeping watch all over the place, and I'm pretty sure that gardener saw me climb the trellis.