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Footfalls rise behind me, and suddenly, Valentina is at my elbow while the men she knows move around Illyana's bed, detaching machines and moving what they need to bring with them. The fact that they resemble Mario's own men so much seems to work in our favor and Illyana barely spares them a glance and opens her book instead.

"Nice work," Valentina murmurs to me as we follow the men as they wheel Illyana out of the room.

"I feel awful," I murmur back. "Lying to her."

"It's for her own good," she reminds me. "Trust me. Getting your hands a little dirty isn't necessarily a bad thing."

It is a bad thing, though. The weight of that follows me into the elevator with Illyana, trails after me as we rush up to the roof, and settles into my chest like a shard of ice when we climb into the waiting medical helicopter.

Valentina's really planned this out without a single wobble, and I admire how effortlessly everything falls into place. In and out with Illyana in under twenty minutes.

And my first time in a helicopter.

The first lurch of the vehicle taking to the sky has me grabbing at the railing on the side of Illyana's bed for support. She laughs at me and places her small hand over mine.

"Scared?" she yells over the thump of the helicopter blades.

I nod quickly.

"I love helicopters." Her smile widens. "They thump like they have a heartbeat. Buda-buda-buda-buda!"

Illyana's hand doesn't move from mine for the entirety of the helicopter ride. It's hard to think or feel anything with the blades thumping loudly overhead, and now I can't unhear them as the heartbeat of the flight. We stay like that, her hand on mine and me gripping the railing of her bed, until the flight ends and I stumble out of the helicopter and onto the deck of a ship anchored not far from shore.

"Where are we?" I gasp at Valentina while struggling to control the shake of my legs.

"One of our ships," she replies with a smile. "Don't worry. As long as you don't get seasick, the rest of this trip will be as smooth as butter."

Seasick is the least of my worries. Cool, sea air drifts across the deck and wraps around my bare arms while I stand by as they unload Illyana and wheel her directly to a medical team waiting nearby. Every new step floods me with more questions about how any of this is possible, but none of them make it past my lips.

My mind is caught on one question that rose up the moment Illyana touched my hand. Seeing her, I imagined being flooded with all kinds of motherly love and instinct the moment she touched me.

Instead, there was nothing.

"Sabina?" Valentina gently clasps my elbow. "Are you alright? I was joking about seasickness, but if you feel it, we can get you something."

I shake my head and force a smile. "I'm fine. Honest. Just… tired.” Overwhelmed.

And flooded with guilt that, for some reason, when Illyana touched me, I didn't feel a thing. How can I feel absolutely nothing for my own daughter?

19

CASSIAN

The call comes twenty minutes after we leave the hospital in the rear view mirror. Mario cuts himself off from telling me that I should quit the Suit and move to Italy where I can make millions with his help in the drug market and casually answers his phone.

A second later, tension snaps through him like a bullet and he jerks upright in his seat. "What? You have got to be fucking kidding me. When? How?"

The driver glances back in alarm and I flash him a smile while subtly moving my hand to rest on the door. Delaying Mario as long as I can is my only goal now, but not at the expense of my life.

"What's wrong?" I ask, staring at him.

"Someone…” Mario chokes on his anger and lunges forward, slamming his free hand into the back of the driver's seat. "Turn around! Turn this damn car around! Back to the hospital! Back! Back!"

The driver slams on the brakes, jerks the wheel to one side, and throws us into such a sharp turn that I'm thrown hard against the door, and Mario is almost choked by his seatbelt. A chorus of brakes squeal and car horns blare as the rest of Mario's cars follow the abrupt turn.

"Has something happened to Illyana?" It's easy to feign concern, and Mario nods quickly.

"Someone took her. Someone waltzed in there and took her! Who would do that? Not that bitch. She doesn't have the balls. The people who took her?" He mutters to himself, barely making any sense as his thoughts tumble over one another.