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My mom stood outside wearing white slacks and a pale blue sleeveless linen blouse. Her blond hair was smooth, her lipstick perfect, and she carried a coffee cup in one hand.

She opened the screen and stepped inside.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.”

Her eyes moved over my face.

“Then why are you crying?”

There were moments in life when I desperately wanted my mother to behave like other mothers I’d seen on television, the sort who gathered daughters into their arms and waited patiently.

Bitsy preferred interrogation followed by breakfast.

“I had a bad dream.”

“At your age?”

She put the coffee on the counter as her gaze landed on the notebook sticking out from under the magazine.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing.” I shifted in the chair. “It’s private.”

My mother’s eyebrows rose slightly, then, to my surprise, she let it go.

“All right.”

That worried me more than any continued questioning would have. She sat on the edge of the wicker sofa and crossed one ankle over the other.

“Is this about the dinner?”

I looked down.

Five days from now, in the life I remembered, Paul would propose at the club in front of our families, and I would say yes.

My mother had no idea I was trying to remember whether her grandson brought a stuffed animal into bed during thunderstorms.

“Partly,” I said.

She nodded with the grave satisfaction of a woman whose diagnosis had been confirmed.

“Patricia called last night. She wanted to discuss champagne.”

My mother reached for my hand, which surprised me enough that I looked up. Her fingers were cool and familiar around mine, and for a second I remembered Claire wearing my mother’s earrings at Hudson’s.

Gold drops. Diamonds. I could still see those and the relief hurt almost as much as the fear.

“It’s normal to be frightened before a big life change,” my mother said.

I wanted to tell her mine already had, but instead, I squeezed her hand.

“What if you don’t know which change you’re afraid of?”

Bitsy studied me, and the brisk answer I expected didn’t come immediately.

“Then I suppose you’d better figure that out before Friday.”