Page 24

At some point, exhaustion finally won, pulling me into a restless, fragmented sleep. My dreams were cruel—flashes of standing at the altar, waiting for a future that would never come. Ironic, really.

As soon as the first sliver of sunlight broke through the blinds, I took it as my cue. Lying here wouldn’t change anything. I had to get up.

No point in lying there, staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep that clearly had no interest in me. My body felt heavy, but my mind was wired, stuck in the loop of what could have been.

I threw on a hoodie and padded out to the kitchen, where the coffee pot was already half-full—Charlie’s doing, no doubt. The smell was warm and familiar, but it didn’t bring me any comfort. The house was quiet—Wren was at school, Blythe was at the bookstore, and Charlie was at the coffee shop.

Pulling a mug from the cabinet, I wrapped my hands around it like it could somehow piece me back together. My life felt foreign now, like I’d been dropped into an alternate reality where none of my plans existed anymore.

And that was the worst part. The vision I had spent years building with Thad was ripped away like it was never real to begin with.

I took a shaky breath. I didn’t know what today would look like, but I knew one thing for sure—I had to figure out where I went from here. The first step? Cancelling this lease before the first month of rent is withdrawn from my bank account and I find myself in an even worse predicament.

I glanced at the clock, no one from the apartment complex leasing office would be in the office for a few more hours. To ease an ounce of my anxiety, I typed up a quick email to the leasing agent I had been working with.

Charlotte,

Unfortunately, Thad and I will not be able to rent the apartment. It’s a beautiful complex and the apartment itself was a dream, but our plans have changed drastically. Please let me know the procedure for cancellation of our lease. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

Thank you,

Rose Solace

I hated every moment of this. My body felt heavy—like it was carrying the weight of the world. The weight of the universe rested upon my shoulders. My universe. I closed my laptop lid and sat quietly while the slow rain pattered on the window. I stared at my coffee cup, hoping I’d find some answers at the bottom.

Growing up in Seattle, I loved the rain. The rhythmic sound was oddly comforting. The gloominess outside resonated deeply.

An email popped up in my inbox.

Rose,

So sorry to hear about your change in plans! I can take care of everything on our end, we shouldn’t need anything from you.

The deposit you placed of the first and last month’s rent will be refunded back to your card that ends in -0120. Confirm back if that card is still active and you will be all set!

Charlotte

Hi,

That’s great news! -0120 is still the correct card.

Rose

I washed my mug and placed it in the dishwater and made my way back up to my room. At least I was going to have a little more money in my bank account than I had anticipated. I had forgotten about the deposit because we handled that when we signed our least nine months ago.

Nine months ago we planned our paradise. Our forever. And now we’re just a fleeting moment in time.

The plush bedding cuddled me as I laid back down. I picked up my phone and stared at my background. Thad and I were so happy. That night was really something special—we laughed until we tried in the limo home, tipsy on expensive champagne. We sloppily walked into our apartment and danced around the living room. It was the perfect night. Now it’s nothing but a memory from a relationship that ceased to exist, or did it?

Now reflecting on yesterday’s events, Thad and I might still be in a relationship. Did he take me leaving as us being over? Did he just think we were on a break.

I should text him.

Rose: Can we talk?

Every fiber of my being told me that I shouldn’t have hastily hit send, but I needed to. I needed to save us.

Thad: What do you want?