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Part One:
Frosty First Year
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Livestream
Saturday Morning
Saturday morning, Maye woke up slowly as her faculties kicked in one-by-one. Her launch sequence slowed down on mornings when she didn’t have anywhere to be. The condo was so much quieter than usual. Randall was more of a morning person, so he would usually be up and shuffling around by now. Not only was the silence jarring, but the emptiness was noticeable, too. She could stretch across the bed into the vastness of the space next to her without bumping any pillows or balled-up sheets. Randall always left pillows or clothes or some evidence that he had been there. Her eyes cleared and she could see the unused pillows next to her head, and the mascara smeared on hers. She had gone to bed hastily without removing her make-up or even cleaning her face. As the fog of sleep lifted from her brain, it replayed the events of the previous evening in excruciating detail. She just lay in bed and let the reruns loop over and over in her mind until a ding from her phone finally interrupted the miserable cycle.
Maye looked at her phone and felt the initial panic that came along with seeing dozens of unread messages from her cousin Tracy. The adrenaline rush made her sit up in bed. Maye tapped into the text thread and then fell back onto her pillow, relieved to see they were just a flurry of fun pictures from Tracy’s first night at the Christmas in July event.
There was a picture of Tracy sitting beside Santa in an oversized sleigh.
There was Tracy inside a snow globe.
Tracy holding green and red jello shots.
Taking green and red jello shots.
Tracy holding up dangly Christmas tree earrings.
Another jello shot.
Tracy doting on some Christmas tree slippers.
Jello shot.
Tracy enjoying a massage chair.
Tracy asleep in a massage chair.
Tracy tucked into the massage chair with a festive blanket covering her.
Tracy rallying with another jello shot.
The last picture was actually a video of a boat parade. Each boat was decorated with festive lights, blaring holiday music and its horns as they passed the cheering crowd onshore. What a nice way to end the evening, Maye thought.
Over the last few minutes, when the world had narrowed to just her and those pictures on her phone, Maye felt a tiny glimmer of joy. Maybe Tracy was right about her needing more fun in her life, but Maye was not quite ready to admit that. She sent a quick “Good morning” and “Thank you” text and then dragged herself out of bed.
In her kitchen, Maye cracked a couple of eggs into a pan and dropped a couple of slices of Dave’s Killer raisin bread into the toaster. She poured a glass of orange juice and sipped it while the eggs and toast cooked. Normally, during these waiting moments, Maye would be all in her head trying to identify patterns and behavior changes and theorizing about internal and external factors, but then, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the bottle of champagne she and Randall had been saving for their three-year anniversary. Why the heck not? She thought. Maye popped the cork and added a splash of champagne to her orange juice, then raised her glass to her fried eggs and toast.
Halfway through her second mimosa, Maye’s phone dinged. She swiped down on the screen to see a notification that her cousin, @TracyNolastname, had tagged Maye in something called “Actor Panel Q&A.” Maye ignored many of the links to internet content her cousin sent her, but she was feeling adventurous so she tapped the link and was dropped into a live video feed showing five smiley, camera-ready, Christmas-sweater adorned people sitting on a stage in chairs holding microphones. The big screen behind them displayed a Christmas in July logo and the text “Actor Panel and Q&A with Ashley Williams, Brittany Bristow, Marcus Rosner, Alec Santos, & Christoffer ‘Chris’ Robert R. Walker.”
Through some miraculous technical achievement, viewers online could react at the same time as the people in the audience. As each actor was introduced to the crowd, the big screen flooded with emojis: Christmas trees, hearts, kisses, Santas, wreaths…an outpouring of festive positivity and admiration for each one of them.
“Idealize much?” Maye said with a bite under her breath.
The discussion itself was difficult to hear over the audience’s constant “whoops” and “ooohs,” but Maye pieced together that she was watching a panel of actors from TV Christmas movies, and they were taking questions from the audience. This panel seemed to know each other pretty well, because the actors talked and laughed with each other as much as they did with the audience. As the next audience member stepped up to the microphone near the stage, the crowd settled down.
“Hi, I’m Sheila. I’m so nervous,” said a woman decked out in an ugly Christmas sweater that Maye wouldn’t be caught dead in.
“I love your sweater!” one of the actors shouted. He was wearing pinstriped dress pants, a dark-colored V-neck t-shirt, and a burgundy scarf.
“No irony detected,” Maye said as she eyeballed the t-shirt and scarf combo and swigged her mimosa.
“I love your movies!” The woman shouted back. “You’re my favorite, Chris.”
