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It was difficult for Maye ‌to incorporate bargaining into her day. She negotiated with herself and looked for routines she could break, such as eating lunch alone and avoiding small talk with coworkers. If she could hold a conversation with someone in the shared kitchen, then she could earn some precious alone time. So after an appointment, she made her way to the kitchen area for some quick, casual chatter.

“So,” Maye said to Scarves Lady, who was microwaving her teacup. “How’s your day going?” Maye listened as she refilled her water bottle at the nearby bubbler. Ten minutes and two water-bottle refills later, Maye realized that she had picked the wrong small-talk companion. She had learned that Scarves Lady had some back pain that could be degenerative or could be arthritic, and that a doctor had her doing a stretching and mobility routine every morning and evening.

“Bird-dog, cat-cow, mouse-cheese, all the popular movements,” Scarves Lady joked.

Her next appointment reminder saved Maye. While the conversation lasted longer than Maye would have preferred, she walked away feeling pretty good.

Tracy invited Maye to lunch, so she was off the hook from more small talk in the kitchen. By the time she arrived at Fitzy’s, Tracy was already waiting at a table.

“I ordered the half-price fish sandwich,” Tracy said.

Maye covered her mouth after involuntarily gagging.

“And I ordered you a spinach salad,” Tracy continued.

“Perfect, thanks,” Maye said as she sat down. “I’ve been dying to talk to you. I had a call with that Producer Jayce and Chris last week. Do you remember Chris, the actor?”

“Do I remember Chris the actor?” Tracy acted offended. “Christoffer Robert R. Walker? Star of over 40 made-for-TV movies? Whose face I may, or may not have, put on a custom pillowcase? Yeah, I think I remember Chris the actor.”

“You have a pillow with his face on it?”

“It’s not important. What were you getting at?”

“Anyway, “Maye continued. “The Lunch Ladies inserted themselves into my meeting—”

“How did they do that? Where were you?”

“It was a video call and I took the meeting at Tay’s.”

“But you have an office, and a house, and a car. Why would you have a meeting at the most fertile gossip ground in town?”

“Well, I didn’t really think of that. I just didn’t want to stay at my office for another work-type thing, and Tay’s has wifi…I guess I was asking for trouble, huh?”

“Begging for it. So, you were saying the Ladies joined your meeting, and…?”

“Right. So they and Chris suggested something that I thought was kind of a good idea, and it’s right in line with your sherpa thing that you’re doing.”

“Sherpa thing? I am your Christmas Cousin, guiding you to holiday joy and jolly merriment through festive activities and Christmas movies.”

“Right. So they thought I needed to get out and try some new things, and a way to do that was to do the things that worked in Chris’s movie. Saying it out loud now, it sounds absurd.”

“I…and I cannot emphasize this enough. I LOVE this idea.” Tracy somehow came more alive and animated. “Have you picked which movies yet? Do you need a list? I need my Christmas vest from storage.”

“It’s just an idea at this point. I haven’t decided on any activities yet. Chris keeps texting movie plots, and so far they are wild.”

“Okay,” Tracy put her phone down on the table. “Can we just pause for a second and acknowledge how absolutely bonkers-nu-nu this is? You are talking to one of my all-time favorite movie stars—”

“You had never mentioned him by name before, that I can remember,” Maye interjected.

“Says the woman who daydreams about Twilight during her therapy sessions with clients.”

“I told you that in confidence!” Maye shout-whispered. “That is basically privileged health information. You cannot repeat that, Tracy!”

By this point, Tracy had already pulled up Chris’s IMDb page and began rattling off movies.

“The Lion, the Witch, and the Heir to the Candy Cane Fortune, where he unexpectedly inherits the family fortune, but it’s tied to the revenue goals of the family’s candy stores. So he beebops around the country to visit all their stores in hopes of meeting the sales goal. Then there’s An Igloo in Brooklyn, Minnesota, where a snow fort building contest gets out of hand. Ooh, A Polar Vortex Christmas, where a weatherman gets trapped on location. Or how about She Pecan but He Pecan’t: The true story of how a nut allergy almost ruined Christmas. Oops, that looks like it’s stalled in pre-production. Who’s even editing this thing?” Tracy looked up from her phone with a quizzical look on her face.

“I think there was an animal adoption center one that sounded decent?” Maye said.